Sometimes I go to a fashion district- in whatever city I'm in, and I get Nico from my personal makeup team to make me up as a homeless vagrant.
Yes, you heard right dear readers. A homeless vagrant.
And I sit on one of the seats that are provided wherever you go, and sometimes I comment on the people going past:
"You look chic, hm?"
"Dear, why are you wearing fake Chanel? That is so demode"
"Why are you eating?"
And the reactions are entertaining enough: "Ew, you smelly old man!", "gross!", "I wonder what Karl Lagerfeld would say about you? I know Karl you know!"
No- you do not know me. I've never seen your face in my life. (This is a common thing in the fashion industry: saying you know me. Some people even create photoshop images of them and I, together. )
And I'm saying this all in my normal voice. Yet nobody knows that it's me! Hilarious, hm?
(Apart from Rei. I was once in Japan, and Rei came up to me whilst I was dressed as a homeless vagrant and she said "Karl, why are you dressed like that? I thought you hated John Galliano?"
I said "shhh!" and Rei decided that it would be fun to join me as a homeless vagrant. So we went to the Comme des Garcons store and were kicked out. Rei had a sort of spasm-like laughing fit, and Anna came and fired the staff in that Comme des Garcons store the next day. "YOU DID NOT RECOGNIZE DEAR LEADER! SHAME ON YOU!")
Sometimes I don't say anything at all, and I just watch all the fashion people walk around.
They studiously ignore each other, with their noses upturned. Like they're trying to say: "I'M MORE FASHION THAN YOU".
The collection will be updated next week. Every week! That's true fast fashion.
(So go buy the collection now, hmm?)