Sunday, September 14, 2008

Anna is alive.

Hello adoring public.  I am back at my desk after a weeklong sabbatical, spent in Karl's new closet.  The Chanel sofa in there is very comfortable.

Anyway, one of my assistants told me that there were photographers all over my stand-in at Fashion Week.  With telephoto lenses and such.

Obviously, I am not using her again.  You might say she almost looked...  mortal.  How demode.

I am, of course, perfect.  Immortal people never wrinkle.

I fired everyone involved.  It felt good - I haven't fired anyone in a week.  That's a new record.  The longest time had been six days, after I fired the assistant that runs between the Art Department and my office.  You see, the idiot tripped on my new Chanel rug and beautiful half-finished pages of Vogue flew everywhere.  Vogue is not permitted to touch the ground or any unclean surface.  I was simply doing my duty as protector of the realm of Vogue.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tell an assistant go to Hermès and buy 500 white scarves.  I use them to blot my lipstick.


Giorgio said...

I immediately suspected that something was wrong with those pictures then I realized it's your actress - such a nuisance to rely on assistants!

But of course gods like you never age... please show up at Paris fashion week... the real you not your clone

Vidal Wu said...

The Fake Anna is so... human. This will not do, Anna.

Anonymous said...

Are you real Anna Wintour??
I still don't get it