Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Karl's Nursery Rhymes

Well, I thought it might be a good idea to write some Nursery Rhymes for you to read your children. Or if you don't have children, please go to the nearest park and shout them out at the top of your lungs. Perhaps have pamphlets (quilted, of course) of them to give out. Like a religious fanatic-- or PETA. Karl is a religion, after all! You could say something along the lines of: "DO YOU BELIEVE! DO YOU BEEEELIEVE IN THE POWER OF KARL?! DO YOU BELIEVE? DO YOU ACCEPT KARL AS YOUR SAVIOUR OF CHIC?"
And if they say "yes" you then say:
"TOO BAD! KARL REFUSES YOU! LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE SO UGLY! EWWWW. REFUSAL IS THE ULTIMATE ELEGANCE, ANYWAY"

So, here we go:

This little fattie went to walmart.
This little fattie stayed at home.
This little fattie had potato chips,
This little fattie had none.
And this little fattie went "Snort! Snort! Snort!" all the way home.

Jack and Jill went on the pill to lose some weight for Summer
Jack fell down, and punched a photographer
And Jill came to pay the bail after
Out got Jack, and photoshoot did trot
Dressed in tights in a sort of caper
He went to bed and found a friend
who soon appeared in the tabloids later.

Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder how chic you are?
Up above the world so high, like Yves Saint Laurent in the sky;
Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder how chic you are?

Three hip assistants, three hip assistants;
See how they run, see how they run
Watch them run in their skinny jeans,
With wayfarers and ironic t-shirts to spare;
Did you ever see such thing in your life?
Three hip assistants

12 comments:

Mo said...

Wondeful Karl, much better than that Dr. Seuss they forced me to read when i was five.
Wil Yves Return to us from the stars? i don't know what Stefano Pilati is doing at the YSL house

Jeunesse said...

Oh I can't get enough of you, Uncle Karl! I can't wait to sing these to the demode, ugly fatty moms at my kid's school.

Uhm, if it isn't too much to ask thou art Saviour of Chic and Supreme Being of Fashion, how about some fun Christmas Carols, to replace the demode ones we painfully hear over and over again... Please?!

sophia said...

Uncle Karl if only I had children

Ms. Butterfly said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? Brilliant. Though I must say that being fat comes in handy when one is sick. Gives the wasting away something to work with.

In-tree-gue said...

lols! this should be published

Stag said...

I hate nursery rhymes... bahh

Stag said...

... i only love them when Karl speaks em ;)

mani said...

HAHAHAHHHAHA
BRILLIANT!
You could totally write a childrens nursery rhyme book :D

WendyB said...

Brilliant.

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