Karl's Nursery Rhymes

Well, I thought it might be a good idea to write some Nursery Rhymes for you to read your children. Or if you don't have children, please go to the nearest park and shout them out at the top of your lungs. Perhaps have pamphlets (quilted, of course) of them to give out. Like a religious fanatic-- or PETA. Karl is a religion, after all! You could say something along the lines of: "DO YOU BELIEVE! DO YOU BEEEELIEVE IN THE POWER OF KARL?! DO YOU BELIEVE? DO YOU ACCEPT KARL AS YOUR SAVIOUR OF CHIC?"
And if they say "yes" you then say:
"TOO BAD! KARL REFUSES YOU! LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE SO UGLY! EWWWW. REFUSAL IS THE ULTIMATE ELEGANCE, ANYWAY"

So, here we go:

This little fattie went to walmart.
This little fattie stayed at home.
This little fattie had potato chips,
This little fattie had none.
And this little fattie went "Snort! Snort! Snort!" all the way home.

Jack and Jill went on the pill to lose some weight for Summer
Jack fell down, and punched a photographer
And Jill came to pay the bail after
Out got Jack, and photoshoot did trot
Dressed in tights in a sort of caper
He went to bed and found a friend
who soon appeared in the tabloids later.

Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder how chic you are?
Up above the world so high, like Yves Saint Laurent in the sky;
Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder how chic you are?

Three hip assistants, three hip assistants;
See how they run, see how they run
Watch them run in their skinny jeans,
With wayfarers and ironic t-shirts to spare;
Did you ever see such thing in your life?
Three hip assistants