So Marc Jacobs called.
I don't answer the phone so I have now had "speaker phones" installed throughout my house, all with the Chanel logo and a self destruct button in place for when I get annoyed by people ringing me up.
Marc was like "Oh, Karl, how is it?" and said that he wanted "to do a collab on a Louis Vuitton project" (the man speaks in italics).
"Oh no I Karl is busy enough, hmmm?"I say.
"uhhh, you know we just put a few options into a hat, and mix them up."
"Yes, I do"
"Why won't you do it then??"
"I don't design like that"
"Hahhahaahahhaha, come on Karl....you must be kidding"
"You actually design?"
"I thought nobody actually designed these days."
"You don't use...the hat? Everybody uses the hat!"
One phone is now somewhere in New York. I threw it outside my window. If you have it, email fakekarl at gmail dot com for a fake Chanel dress.
I imagine Marc going "Karl? Karl?? Karl! Hey, I quite like talking to myself."