Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I fired someone! Well, kind of

Anna and I are working on a line of t-shirts called "K Angry Anna". The K's just there because my name is Karl, and it starts with K. So therefore, a line starting with "K" for "Karl" is going to be chic no matter what. "Angry Anna" means Anna is angry, but not in a demode way- obviously.

I walked right up to Andre Leon Tally yesterday and told him "You're Fired, hm?" Then I quickly took photos of his face. Then I deleted those photos because his face was as bad as his full-length purple coat and turban. And he was like "Whuuuuut????"

"You're fired."
"You don't even work here"
"Work where?"
"This magazine"
"So that's what it is. I wondered what all those people were doing walking around"
"So you're still fired"
"I'm Karl Lagerfeld, hmm? Get me a coffee"
"Yes sir"
(he comes back, with a coffee)
"Oh, I don't drink coffee"
"What the hell man, I thought you were my friend?"
"Your clothes are not possible"
"They're came from.."
"Spit it out, hm?"
"You can't fire me!"
(in my best calm-voice)
"I am Karl Lagerfeld. Go pack your bags. Do you have bags? Well, I don't want to see you in this office again"
(muttering under his breath)
"old man....hair....fire eyes....woof woof....paris...amy winehouse...chic?"

Anna, can you sort this out please? Aren't you proud of me for firing someone, hmm?

I'll just go back to dear Brad....


Ney said...

Silly Andre, thinking you drink coffee when you don't even EAT.

Good thing he was fired...

Vidal Wu said...

My! You actually accepted my idea! Oh, Tom will be so happy that his assistants are chic enough for Karl!

Yes, I despise that man just as much as you. I was reading old issues of Vogue, and I see a huge photo of that hulking mass of démodé leaving the gym with Louis Vuitton covering every inch of his body. Who does he think he is?!

Karl, you should've drowned him in No.5 just to be safe he will never return, hmm?

Vidal Wu said...

More ideas, hmm?

Make some Warhol-esque portraits of your face, looking down upon the eternally démodé. How chic that would be.

Fans, to wave at the Prada clad passerby.

And yes, fingerless gloves, because we all need a fantastic pair of gloves, no?