Saturday, September 27, 2008

Are you all mad?



This woman is Aliona Doletskaya.  She is ugly.  She runs Russian Vogue, which as far as I know, consists of vodka adverts, ratty fur coats and articles about 'how to reinvigorate your Soviet workwear.'

I shall prevail, as usual.  Karl has already sent out Chanel operatives to Moscow to...  um...  'investigate.'  Yes, investigate.  (When Karl wants to, he can be quite frightening.  It's like a skinny German dictator in Dior Homme, wielding a Shu Uemura eyeshadow pencil - well, maybe not frightening, but you get the idea.)

GET ME A GIN AND TONIC IMMEDIATELY.  AND YOU TELL THAT BEAUTY EDITOR THAT IF I DON'T SEE NEW IDEAS BY TOMORROW, SHE'LL BE WORKING AT SALLY BEAUTY SUPPLY IN BROOKLYN BY THE AFTERNOON.

Got to go, adoring public.  Much to do as I AM EDITOR-IN-CHIEF of VOGUE.  AND WILL BE.  FOREVER.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

to answer that question yes because we actually look at a dumb site like this karl must be set on fire along with the chanel brand.

everyone is mad but me cause i stumbled upon this site by accident.

Karl Lagerfeld said...

Are you a speaker of English, anonymous? You clearly cannot read, and somehow you managed by sheer luck to bash the right keys and form not one, but two (!)somewhat coherent sentences that attempt to insult this bastion of genius, this lair of I, Karl Lagerfeld.

Chanel is not a brand: it is a way of life. Setiing people on fire is so 60s, so hippy-esuqe. How demode. And as everyone knows, I am fire-proof.

Next time you type, try and use what we call "capital" letters, and "grammar". Always, always spell "Chanel" with a capital "C". It is a matter of respect.

I, being Karl, can use the royal "we". You cannot. Please say "I" rather than we in future.

Run along now, go shop at Wal-Mart, hmmm?