"Your Blog is Getting Boring"

"Your Blog is Getting Boring" read a comment on one of my blog posts, earlier today.
I do say read because you must remember that this blog is, like fashion, a totalitarian dictatorship. I do not tolerate dissenters.

I imagine the person is a teen fashionista. She probably has a Marc Jacobs bag that her mommy paid $2000 for, and a Juicy Couture sweatsuit and a Versace jacket with "VERSACE" written in large print on the back, just so you know it's Versace. She probably keeps the price tags on everything, just so she can remember exactly how much mommy paid for this piece of "tacky" fashion. In short, this person is a fashion victim, 1st class.

I should be applauding her, of course. Because along with her Marc Jacobs bag I'm sure she owns a Chanel bag; one of the ones I designed badly on purpose to see what stupid sort of people would buy them. She's given me money! So, thankyou; ugly and demode fashionista for giving Uncle Karl some money.

She has a blog, of course. Where she posts pictures of herself in a blazer and leggings everyday. EVERY SINGLE DAY she posts pictures of herself in leggings and a blazer; saying "oh, how original I am." She then tries to emulate my daughter Jane and buys some shoes; apart from her shoes are tacky and bright pink and made in China. She then looks at Jane's blog and says "WHY DON'T I GET ALL THOSE HITS", goes and complains to mommy and mommy buys her some Louis Vuitton flip flops.

Worst of all, this person enjoys McDonald's.