Friday, November 14, 2008

Interview with a poor person

I interviewed this game designer called Paul Eres, his site is here. See, I thought it would be a good idea to venture out of the closet and see what non-fashion people do; and to confirm that they actually exist.

Karl: Hello, hmmm?
Paul Eres: Hi
K: So, you make these game things. Are you fat?
P: Nope, I'm 6'4" and weigh 130 lbs.
K: How chic, hmm? Although you could probably lose 10 pounds or so. What are you wearing?
P: I'm wearing... pastel blue shorts and pastel yellow t-shirt, and a blanket and glasses
K:Blankets are very chic; but the shorts and t-shirt are demode, Paul, demode. At least you're not wearing a t-shirt made out of bed-sheets...or is it?
P: No, a shirt and the blanket over it, since it's cold, although a shirt out of bed sheets wouldn't be a bad idea.
But I don't have any bed sheets.
I'm too poor to afford such things!
K: Poor is very demode
K: Why are you so poor?
P: Because the congress in the US voted to steal 700 billion from the poor and give it to the rich.
K: So you were previously a billionaire?
P: Perhaps in a previous life, but not this one; they stole the 700 billion from all the poor collectively.
So my share of that was less than a billion.
K: Oh....there's more than one poor person in the US?
P: Yes, about 100 million
K: Do they wear skinny jeans?
P: Depends on the area, they do that near NYC, yes, but perhaps in other areas they wear other kinds of jeans
K: I heard you just got a 40 inch TV, paul. is this what being poor in the US means? Being only able to have a 40 inch TV?
P: Hahaha, yes, but the tv is dim even at full brightness, and I also have to live inside of the TV, so it doubles as my home
K: How do you produce these electronic computer games then, hmm?
P: The TV is so big that my entire computer fits inside it, along with myself.
And I create these games on that computer.
K: Is the TV plugged into anything?
P: I am not sure, I've never been outside of the TV to check.
K: So you were born in the TV?
P: No, but I meant, for as long as I can remember, I've been inside it.
I'm sure I wasn't born in it though.
And I can remember back several days. Which isn't very much.
Because of amnesia.
K: Does this mean that you have to re-start work on your game every few days?
P: No, because I keep notes in my journal about the game's progress.
K: You made...Immortal Defence, hmm? How did you do this?
P: I made it in a game maker, which is a program used by those who are too poor to program in anything else.
K: Do the people who made Game Maker live in a TV too?
P: I believe the actual creator of GM doesn't live in a TV anymore, because he sold the GM to a company named NoMoGames.
Who gave him enough money to move into a refrigerator.
K: What do you do in this game of yours, hm?
P: In the last game I made? You defend an imaginary granddaughter from imaginary monsters. Forever.
K: Does the granddaughter live in a TV?
P: No, imaginary people don't live anywhere except in other people's heads.
K: Is this granddaughter very chic? Is she thin? Does she wear imaginary Chanel?
P: It's an alternate galaxy, so she probably doesn't wear any human clothes, but I imagine she wears the best clothes of her species' fashion designers, which is probably far better than any clothes humans have created yet.
K: Non, non; my clothes are the best
P: Perhaps, but there is no way to know, since the two galaxies are too far apart to compare the clothes side by side.
K: Well, we will see about that. Chanel is pretty powerful, you know. Are you still poor?
P: Perhaps you could donate one sleeve of one of your clothes, and it would fund all the poor in the US for life!
K: But, then who would the rich have to feel better than?
P: They can still feel better than the cows and pigs and bugs
K: But some of them are cows; and I dare say that some of them are pigs, too.
That only leaves bugs...which is not very chic, hmm?
P: Bugs are the new chic!!
K: You live in a TV; so you are obviously not qualified, hmmm?
P: Yes, but! The TV sometimes has fashion shows.
K: Yes, but you are inside your TV so you can't watch them.
P: Yes, but I can hear them. And I hear the way the models walk. And from the way that they walk, I have learned all the secrets of fashion.
K: How do you know they're models? They could be obese homeless men with a particularly delicate walk.
P: I hear them referred to as models by the television
K: how do you know the television is right, hmm?
P: because no television that i live in could be wrong! K: But you are poor! obviously, you are not right if you are poor.
P: You should interview two people named Tale-of-Tales. They live in Europe, like you!
K: They're not smelly Europeans, are they?
P: I have never smelled them, so I do not know, but they make games about deer and about graveyards.
K: uh oh, they're not Goths? Or....HIPSTERS?
P: No, I think one of them even wears designer pants! So they can't be all bad, no?
K: I shall consider interviewing them. Adieu, poor person.
P: Goodbye.


Jasmina said...

"K: Non, non; my clothes are the best", great interview Karl (lol)

Anonymous said...

He is extraordinarily sharp for a poor person...non?

Zohra said...

Kisses for Uncle Karl.

I know how much you secretly love a bit of PDA.

The horror of it burns multitudes of calories. x

Ms. Butterfly said...

Karl the next time you want to interview someone poor with fashion sense, darling come to me. If not, how demode of you. I cant believe i just say that to thee..Keiser Karl. btw Wie gehts?

Karl Lagerfeld said...

Zohra, kisses for you too.
(nobody saw that).

Ms. Butterfly, I shall keep you in mind, hmm?

V said...

i love your blog. wanna link?

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