Okay. The other day I was at this thing presenting this award to this person. She had blonde hair...hmmm.....Britney Spears. That was her name. "Britney" "Spears". She had children backstage. I hate children. So I gave them a Chanel lollipop and told them to shut up. It's a quilted lollipop. I can't remember what the award was for; it was at some music-related event. It was not the opera, anyway. I'd just like to say that Anna put me up to it when we were playing Truth or Dare; and she'd drunken a lot of Vodka and said "PRESENT THAT DEMODE BRITNEY SPEARS WITH AN AWARD". That was the dare, you see. It was worth it, because I found out who Anna is....singling out...for let's say "special activities".
Anyway, this is me covering my high collar, hmm? I do not endorse that Britney Spears nor do I like her. She is demode. If it was me, the award would've went to Cat Power....no....me! Yes, I would've given the award to myself, hmm? And I don't even know what the award was for!
Note: Some assistant spelt "myself" wrong in this entry. My new assistant, Bradd (who is not Brad), is typing up entries from now on. The previous assistant is swimming in a pool of diet Coke.)