Mother

Karl, Karl
Lagerfeld, Lagerfeld
Genius designer he:
Took great
care of his mother,
though he was only 70.
Karl Karl said to his mother,
"Mother", he said, said he;
"You must never go down,
to buy some Chanel,
if you don't go down with me."

Karl, Karl,
Lagerfeld's mother,
Put on a Sonia Rykiel gown.
Karl, Karl Lagerfeld's mother,
drove to buy some Chanel.
Karl, Karl Lagerfeld's mother,
said to herself, she she:
"I can get right down,
to the end of the Chanel,
and be back in time for a tree".

Queen Viv
Put up a telegraph,
"LOST OR STOLEN OR FAKE!
KARL, KARL, LAGERFELD'S MOTHER,
SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN MISLAID;
LAST SEEN, WANDERING VAUGELY,
TWIRLING A SILVER CANE,
SHE TRIED TO GET DOWN,
TO SHOP AT CHANEL,
COUTURE DRESS REWARD!"

Karl, Karl,
Lagerfeld, Lagerfeld,
(Commonly known as King)
Told his,
Obidient Public,
Not to go blaming him.
Karl, Karl,
Said to his mother,
"Mother", he said, said he:
"You must never go down to the end of Chanel,
without interviewing me."

Karl, Karl,
Lagerfeld's mother,
Hasn't been heard of since.
Queen Viv said she was sorry,
So did Anna and Prince.
Queen Viv,
(somebody told me),
Said to a man she knew:
If people go down, to the end of Chanel,
well, what can anybody do?

(quietly now, building to a crescendo.)

Karl, Karl
Lagerfeld, Lagerfeld
Genius designer he:
Took great
care of his mother,
though he was only 70.
Karl Karl said to his mother,
"Mother", he said, said he;
"You must never go down,
to buy some Chanel,
if you don't go down with me."