Sunday, January 25, 2009

Back

Hello little tiddleywinks; Uncle is back from the dead, hmm? Actually I was never dead. People would say "Oh, he's copying Yves" if I decided to be dead. They would be all "Ooh, Karl's such a copycat; Yves was so much better; Coco rest his soul*"

So it is my choice to be pro-life; not because I'm some over-weight pink-skinned woman wearing a too tight t-shirt from a team-building exercises she did 10 years ago, and hasn't washed since. Not because I'm this Obama fellow also; or some other positive person. It's mostly because Yves is dead. Although lots of other people are dead too, when you think about it. Most people are dead. So it's a lot more exclusive to be alive, hmm? Well. To not be one of those starving children in Africa who I don't understand-- I mean, I see these starving children in Africa all the time when I walk into a place which has a television. Don't they get paid for these television appearances? It just does not make sense, no?

Anyway. I am back. Not back in black; or back in even black and white. Just back. For instance, if you look at my picture at the top of my blog; I am facing with my back towards you. That sort of back, but present nonetheless.

*How Coco Chanel would rest his soul, I don't know. The woman was the original town bike. Not just any town bike, but a quilted Chanel one. In fact, the Chanel bike we sell is actually a metaphor for Coco Chanel. (Who says Chanel's not an "intellectual" label, hmm? Whilst Rei's busy putting hearts on t-shirts like some insane Pokemon character; I'm busy making metaphors for pretentious art students who can't afford Chanel anyway. Actually I don't, really. I just draw pictures and get my little French seamstresses to make some dresses and such. I'm simply a dressmaker. No, I am simply a producer of disposable goods. No, I'm simply a portable-Jesus maker. That makes me sound akin to a "Juice Squeezer" or "Vacuum Cleaner". I'm simply a genius. Not "Genius Vacuum Cleaner 5000", or "Juice Genius"; because those products sound inelegant and filthy. And I am not filthy. I am in fact, a cat. Yes children, I clean myself like a cat. But cats don't wear suits. And they lick themselves. I only lick Chanel. So hmm.)

6 comments:

Sophia said...

Ah, Karl.
How funny you are. A Brilliant Blog you have here.
All the best,
Sophia xxx

Bowzie said...

Karl, thank goodness! I was starting to get worried you had forgotten about us while you were on the moon. It must be very chic on the moon. No demode people to bother you, hmm? They would die anyway. And not in the very chic way that Yves died, leaving behind a very chic legacy. They would just die.

Anonymous said...

Update your playlist, Karl.

Jeunesse said...

We missed you Uncle Karl. This is a great "comeback" post.

*Deline said...

I missed you so much. You have no idea!

Hedi Slimane said...

I AM MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FAKE KARL!