Tuesday, January 6, 2009

In the Chelsea Hotel

Ah. I see Grandpa Yves has been telling you about "personality" and all these other fuzzy feel-good things. May I remind you that he is dead and I am not. I am still very much alive, even though I do not 1) Breath, 2) Eat-- which they'll teach you in subjects like Biology are kind of important to being alive. Actually- that's not quite true. I do breath; but I breath chic, and only chic. And I eat the souls of people, etc etc....all fairly normal things. (By the way, the devil is a very well dressed man. He does not wear Prada. The only men that wear Prada are security guards. He wears Dries Van Noten and Helmut Lang. I tried to tell him that Helmut Lang's a bit...90's, but he didn't listen. He likes the Nazi-like sharpness of the clothes, I think. He's very proud of WWII, you know. Even more proud of the current state of fashion. He looks upon Louis Vuitton and Gareth Pugh as his own little babies. We play cards every week at Yohji's place. When I say "we" I do mean "Rei, Anna, Yohji, Yves and I"...none of us actually know how to play. We just bought a pack of cards and put them on the table and throw them at each other. Tom Ford once tried to explain the rules of "cards" to me once....he's Texan, so he plays a lot of "cards" on his horse with his other exfoliating cowboy friends, but anyway, I didn't understand them. They seemed silly. So we really just gossip about things. Yves gets on well with Jesus, who comes down to be annoying. Still going on about being nailed to that Cross? My Chanel, it was only a magic trick. But like all magicians, he's incredibly egotistic and will go on about his trick that he did 2009 years ago, because he still thinks it's pretty great. Think David Copperfield, but worse. But Yves gets on well with him. They were thinking of starting a farming co-op, until Yves discovered that it involved smelly animals....Oh, Anna likes Jesus too. "Can you turn my vodka into...more vodka? Please?". )

I don't like Yves making you feel good about yourselves. It is not very fashion. IS BARNEY FASHION, HMM? No. Non, non, non. Nothing personal, of course. I just think that you should buy more Chanel or DEMODE t-shirts and everybody will be happy. Nice to see the old bastard is posting again, though.

7 comments:

one little simitopian said...

Oh Unky Karl, that is the most delightful thing I've read all day! Oops! did I say "delightful"?!
Er, I mean "fabulously chic".

*Deline said...

Sorry, I failed.
I wont listen next time Yves speaks to us.

"Get off the cross, we need that wood".

Mo said...

Is 2009 chic enough for you Karl?
and
Are the cards you use Chanel?

Vidal Wu said...

ah, thank you, karl!
glad to see that Yves is at least, able to still talk, even after more than a year of being dead and all.

and that demode t-shirt is expensive in canadian dollars! $70?! dear chanel, vidal wu does not pay for such things. especially since this thing called a "recession" has left me out of a job.

stephanie said...

I think I'd rather buy an expensive DEMODE tshirt if it had the accent marks!!

XanderCatt said...

OH monsieur Lagerfeld. Where was I without you!

You cleared the demode cobwebs from my life and poured chic sunshine into my soul hmmm!!!

ana r p mendes said...

Love those comments of your...er fanz.
Agrees with *Deline. Yea, wood is expensive *nods*.