Sunday, August 10, 2008

Pencils and John

Hello Children!
It is Karl!

Today I rung up random people and shouted "CHANEL!!!" into the bit where you talk. Then I licked the bit where you talk forming the Chanel logo. Then I threw the telephone out of the window. THEN I got down to business:

This man:
Mr. Pencil-Stealer. Pencil Thief. My assistants captured him. He's in Anna's closet, locked up with that daughter of hers. Buzz. Queen. Bee- yes, that's it. Bee. I can't imagine that they're getting along too well, Anna says he pretends to be French these days. "Oh I amm zJohn zGalliano, yess". He designs for Dior or something. Dior is so out of date, so stuck in the 1950s. "KEEP THE WAIST IN! ZE WOMEN IS AN HOURGLASS." He forgot to mention that the customers of Dior are all over 50, hmm? For the couture, anyway. (Which I design- they're jokes I share with Rei. We send each other ridiculous designs and people like John pick up on them and steal them. This is the basis of most couture today, hmm?).

So after much interrogation "I do not have zis pencil you speak of", "what pencil??" "I do not speak zee English", we got the pencil back. In is now back in allied hands. The world can rest at peace again.

(And yes, astute readers. I have had my pencil taken away before-as you may notice if you read back far enough. The pencil is very important, hmm? Martin Margiela sells a replica of it for $5000, on demand only)

6 comments:

Namee Kim said...

I still can't believe the fact that you're 'real' Karl Lagerfeld, the greatest people I've ever known.

Namee Kim said...

I meant to say one of the greatest people I've ever known.

water said...

I cannot hold my tear...
There is no human in this earth...

As you said, we cannot trust the badly dressed people.
[Oh! Just detected one human being!]

Vidal Wu said...

I sincerely hope that you do not continue to associate with this pencil-stealer. His collections alone are enough to make anyone retch.

Did you make sure to clean you're pencil? His oily skin may have tarnished the Chanel logo.

Naomi said...

He's always looked to me like someone who would lurk in your closet or under your bed, jumping out to to scare you just because he finds it amusing...

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