Thursday, July 3, 2008

Interview with Nicholas

me: Yves is lazy, says he wants to do something, then doesn't do it.Quell'horror! So, I shall do a 20 minute interview with you now, hmm?
6:13 PM nicholas: perfect
6:15 PM me: Well then. What do you think of the current state of the tea-in-the-closet industry these days? I think we did it more when I was younger...
nicholas: i do it all the time.
it is relaxing
sometimes i teleconference from there
6:16 PM there are not nice closets in china
this needs to be fixed.
6:17 PM me: I was speaking to Yohji the other day, he did a show there a while ago, he had the exact same problem!
6:18 PM nicholas: small communist wardrobes.
me: There he was, trying to hold a traditional Japanese tea in this horrible closet that Mao person used
6:20 PM Mao was bizzare anyway....Yves met him once. Said he was very bourgeoise.
nicholas: You can buy busts of him everywhere
we found rubber ones today - not quite sure why they made rubber ones.... not very attractive.
6:21 PM he has such an odd haircut.
and such terrible jackets.
a la armani 1982
me: oh god...Armani
that man scares me
his TAN.
6:22 PM nicholas: he must shower in tanning spray.
6:23 PM his face lift is also somewhat frightening.
me: He does not design anyway these days, hmm? I'm convinced he simply changes the colors or something
6:24 PM nicholas: i think he must have a beige colorwheel in his office that he spins and whatever it lands on, he just changes last season to the new beige
the phone he designed is terrrrrrible
it's a beige square.
6:25 PM me: He designed a phone?
See, I just don't bother keeping in the Italian fashion circle anymore
6:26 PM the only interesting person is that Prada lady, but her clothes look like they're taken from the backs of homeless people
nicholas: (that's how she does it - and why she's so rich)
6:27 PM me: actually she's one of the few that doesn't steal my designs, so she probably does steal them off homeless people
(exactly, hmm?(
nicholas: because she can just buy yachts instead of material
me: but she is witty at least. You need t be somewhat intelligent to fool people like that
6:28 PM nicholas: very true.
6:29 PM she also has an attitude that is very funny....
she's very interesting
6:30 PM me: mm. I like that. People are afraid to be interesting, hmm?
if I say "I am going to bath in vintage wine!" people just look at me as if I'm crazy or something
6:31 PM nicholas: that's what happened when i said i wanted to buy a mao statue and paint it metallic silver
it would be so warhol
6:32 PM me: Andy was great
6:33 PM anyway, I have another event to get going to
6:34 PM we can finish this sometime later, hmm? Maybe even tonight (another dinner with one of those rich French people. I'm going to see if I can get away with taking their bed)
nicholas: do it - i will be here
toiling for the chinese people
sans closet
me: lovely. as long as you have Dior Homme, you can be strong!
Dior Homme is strength!
6:35 PM (but the new designer- Kris whoever is an idiot. I don't like him)
(but more on that later)
au wiedersehen
me: Hello again! The dinner went very late last nigh
nicholas: did you manage to take the bed?
me: I did! I don't really know what to do with it now, though....
6:18 PM it's just sitting in the middle of my dining room
nicholas: you should pile it full of models and throw a party
and perhaps paint little chanel logos on them
6:19 PM me: I think I'll do both
the Chanel show's soon, I think people will be entertained
6:20 PM I'm already bored of it. Time to start design a new collection, hmm?
nicholas: exactly.
6:21 PM i am filing photos of pretty things into various folders on my laptop
which i will probably just end up deleting
me: that's what I do in life
6:22 PM it's a good waste of time, non?
nicholas: it's fantastic.
and you look quite busy.
6:23 PM me: indeed
oh, did you see the Dior Homme show?
nicholas: i did.
6:24 PM kris van assche is odd.
but some of those pants...
me: I miss Hedi's clothes, to be honest
I like to say "I am in the now, I never wear last season"
nicholas: i miss the stick-thin-jet-black-ness of hedi's work
6:25 PM me: but right now I'm wearing a vintage Dior Homme suit
nicholas: i have had some chinese people clean my shoes
i am wearing them now, as it isn't as muddy as usual
6:26 PM me: how much do people cost these days?
maybe I should install a few shoe cleaners in Chanel stores
nicholas: in china, they are very inexpensive
but often they spit.
6:27 PM me: hm. have you noticed how the shop assistants never do anything?
6:28 PM they've almost made it a skill
maybe they could be the shoe cleaners
nicholas: they are pretty though.
6:29 PM me: are they? I never see their faces..
6:30 PM they all bow down to me
nicholas: as they should.
me: indeed. But it is good to know they are pretty.
6:32 PM nicholas: the girls are my favorite - they just sigh at you
so chic
me: I'm not really sure what I should interview you about. Maybe I'll just post these convos on the blog
6:33 PM but of course
even the Chanel bagpipes are chic
(we only made 5. there's a reson for that)
although, the Dior Homme show wasn't that bad
it just wasn't that good
6:34 PM nicholas: exactly.
6:35 PM me: so, what are you doing in China anyway?
6:36 PM nicholas: pretending to work at an architecture firm
quite taxing
6:37 PM i am doing a lot of graphic design
and shopping
6:38 PM me: oh lovely
I pretend to work at Chanel all the time
6:39 PM I go into my office, roll around on the chair
in fact I have races with Hedi (he doesn't do anything else these days) and Yves
even Anna once, when she was drunk
6:40 PM they think it's part of my "creative process"
6:41 PM nicholas: hhaha
i send my secretary to buy me chinese magazines
which i then have translated
while i wander around the office and steal office supplies
6:42 PM me: I miss being able to do it
I did that at ChloƩ, and I still have a drawer full of pens and such
6:43 PM but at Chanel I kind of own the place
I mean, there's those two brothers
but they don't count, hmm?
I'm not even sure if they're alive anymore
6:44 PM nicholas: hahah
me: does anyone know?
nicholas: no, noone knows anything.
6:45 PM that's why we have to tell them everything.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I love this blog. It's quite the opposite of demode.