Trip to this American Place

We went on a trip with my daughter today. A father-daughter trip, hm? She wanted to go to the Rodarte show..you know, that label run by the sisters who knit. I went to one of their shows once, and the two sisters just sat on rocking chairs knitting, backstage. And they stared at me when I came on to stare at them and intimidate them with the "KARL STARE". They're like these characters out of a Virginia Woolf novel or something, hm? And the fashion people who were surrounding me like a swarm of vicious little bees said "they're not from these parts". I almost expected these sisters to add "a-" to their words. As in "we've been a-designing the collection, and a-selling it to those city people. And a-riding the horse into town."

Actually when they started speaking (after staring at me, they starred and starred for almost an hour, slowly turning their eyes into slits like a clock slowly turns one hour into the next. It was actually unnerving. I wonder if they come from a planet near mine). And they spoke in LA-accents, and that ruined the whole Virginia Woolf thing which I was quite enjoying.
"So you're not Virginia Woolf characters" I said to them.

I think maybe I scared them a little, but it's all character building, huh?

So I'm in Texas. That's where the Rodarte show is. Tom Ford's here as well, and naturally he's stalking me. "Oh Karl, Oh Karl, Lick my phone. It's an iphone."
He's not a very good stalker. He's basically been yelling at me when he sees me; like some Japanese manga-addicted man-child.
"Tom. This is very boring" I say.
"But I don't have anything better to do."
"Go pluck your eyebrows or something?"
"AREN'T MY EYEBROWS PLUCKED ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
"It's something to do."
"Oh, Karl, Karl, Karl. You know I love you." And he gives me a little "punch". Like...the American drunk people who watch the games with the ball? The males who watch this. Very demode.
So I run away, because what do you do to this sort of thing? It's not very chic.