Thursday, October 9, 2008

King Karl


Has anybody noticed that Anna's magazine isn't...um...that good?
I haven't read it since That Maven edited it, but I picked up a copy of it yesterday as I was walking to my secret closest hideout.
It....doesn't have anything in it, hmm? Maybe it was a dud. Yes, that's it. It's a dud Vogue from my enemies- the evil assistant designers at Valentino who've been promoted to be the lead designers for actual clothes. Yes, I know what you look like..don't think I didn't see you....you were disguised as a wall. Karl sees everything.

And then I stalked that wall all the way back to where it was, where I realized walls didn't move. Then I thought: I might be in a dream. But there was now plastic Andre Leon Talley's so I thought I was safe. Then some sicko- some crazy- comes up to me and wants my autograph.

"MY AUTOGRAPH?!"
"Yesir, you're Karl Lagerfeld, the famous designer?"
"
CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THE WALL IS STALKING ME!"
"Aha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Very funny Mr. Lagerfeld."
"Listen: if you see or hear of any plastic figurines, I want you to use a telephone"
"A telephone?"
"Yes, hmm? A telephone. Grab the apparatus and call the telephone people at once"
"...Ok"
"This is a little too surreal now, hmm? Gosh, just go buy the new totes. Queen Vivianne and King Karl."
"That sounds like a plug sir"
"It is"
"Ohh! Shameless!"
"Totally"
"By the way.."
"Here's your autograph"
"Thankyou"
"Don't lick the phone, and dirty jokes only after 8 PM"
"I heard you tell one before..."
"Are you Karl Lagerfeld?"
"Nosir"

2 comments:

KD said...

Unrelated, but I have to ask: what does King Karl think of his Chanel Light Bulb Heel?

Karl Lagerfeld said...

I think it's funny, hmm? I love it! (But of course)