Yes, it's true. You've probably heard about it on the news; on the lips of the gossips; in those "blogs" or whatever they call them that people write. I'm buying a place in Vermont.
It's all very Emily Dickinson- I'm sure you heard that quote from me in the article, of course. I spent all morning, from 3 AM to 4 AM thinking it up. I don't sleep.
I paced the room muttering outloud. Eventually I decided Dickinson would be the best reference to make. How very Proustian.
And I spent all of the Chanel show whilst I ate an M&M (an M&M! How could I?) thinking up the Proust reference. How very Genghis Khan.
And I spent all of my time in China where I hid in closets from the Communists thinking up the Genghis Khan reference.
Oh dear, I could go on with this for hours.
I didn't really actually spend any time thinking any of those up. I just wanted to say that. How chic. How very now.
What I'm going to do in Vermont is put on my Emily Dickinson wig and pretend to be "Karl Dickinson" and romp through the countryside with Brad dressed as my loyal manservant "Albert". That is the intention. I might write some poetry too. In the wig, of course. The wig is key.
When I design my Chanel collections I wear my Coco Chanel wig (the one she wore herself), and when I design the Fendi collections I wear hair I cut off the tails of the most chic horses. When I design Karl Lagerfeld it is fine; I wear my normal hair. Extra dry shampoo for that extra-white effect.
I could have a commerical:
"IN ONLY FIVE MINUTES YOU TOO WILL HAVE HAIR LIKE KARL LAGERFELD'S!"
Apart from commericals are so commercial, hmm? The problem is that they are ruined by being stacked with bad, tacky commericals. Imagine a KFC commerical after a Karl Lagerfeld's Chic Shampoo for White Hair commerical.
Not so chic, huh?