You are winner!

I got an email saying I won one million British pounds, from a Dr. Pinkett.

I wrote this email back: (well, I dictated).

"Dear Dr. Pinkett,

My name is Karl Lagerfeld and I live in France. I design for Chanel, have you heard of it?
I'm not going to give out my addresses because I am clearly rich enough, hmmm? I suggest you send your money to the poor people at Louis Vuitton making those awful handbags....maybe give Tom Ford some money to buy (vintage of course) Dior Homme.

Please write your "letters" properly. As in "Dear Mr. Lagerfeld" (you don' know me, so you may not call me "Karl" unless by some fluke you happen to be a cousin of my mothers, in which case you should be dead, hmm?)
Paragraph them.
Sign your letters "With respect, Oh ruler of us all"
Then your name I suppose.

Anyway, I think British money is demode, hmmm? Is that why you are trying to get rid of it? Are you a man of style, such as me? No- you are not. Because if you were you'd know the right thing to do is to burn your money. Silly boy. It makes great firewood.


Good day to you
Karl Otto Lagerfeld
Designer,
Chane, Fendi, Karl Lagerfeld and numerous other projects"