Saturday, July 5, 2008

Karlism

This model walked up to me today, as I was investigating the asphalt. The texture's great. I had some of the asphalt dug up and sent to the little old ladies who do the sewing at Chanel.
Anyway, she was like "KARL, I HATE YOU. YOU SHOULD GIVE MORE MONEY TO THE WORKERS". I swear she talked in capitals. And I said to this model "You are a model. You are not paid to talk. Now hurry along, then".
Then she says "FUCK OFF YOU CONDESCENDING PRICK. THE WORKERS ARE EQUAL TO YOU". And I say "dear, the other Karl died a long time ago. He is demode. Being human is demode. Equality is demode."
And she says "OH, IT WOULD BE FOR YOU BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MCDONALD'S WORKERS???!!"
"What about them?"
"THEY'RE NOT PAID ENOUGH"
"Oh. Well McDonald's is demode anyway"
"WHAT ABOUT YOUR SEAMSTRESSES"
"They live in mansions girl. They don't need any more money"
"WHAT ABOUT-"
"Money is demode anyway. And so is that horrible jacket that you're wearing"
"IT'S CHANEL"
"Ah, but not this seasons"

She sulked away then. I have a friend who has those crazy opinions- Natalie. But at least she's intelligent. If you're going to have those opinions you should be able to back them up. But Natalie my muse. She can wear my collars anyday, hmmm?

Now I do the work on like 200 people anyway. Because I do so much. Which is why I'm entitled to so much money. You- the reader- wouldn't be reading this blog if I didn't write it. That's how important I am. I'm like the elf of fashion. A wave here, a wag of my wand here and we have 50 collections. But not really an elf- lets say King Elf. Or Prince Elf. Or King Prince God Elf. Or Prince-God. Or Super-Prince-God. Or even Karl Lagerfeld.

1 comment:

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