Conversation with a Kim

me: Hello. This is Karl here

2:13 PM I'm using Anna's computer (she's away doing something or somesuch). I think if I type into this little box here you can hear my messages?

2:14 PM Kim: Why hello! I thought I had missed you!

I messed up the timing for last evening's chat.

2:16 PM me: I ended up doing something else anyway, hmm? Ahh, the hardships of being a fashion god.

2:17 PM Kim: I expect you're busy working out he details of next spring's fashion line. So, will it be pirate-y or ninja-y? I won't tell a soul...

2:22 PM me: I think it will be about revolution, hmm?

2:24 PM Something is in the air, don't you think?

Well, you don't have to think dear- that is my job. That's the real role I have at Chanel

2:26 PM I'm a computer. I stopped being human years ago

2:27 PM being human is such a bore, hmm? Anyway, being human doesn't go well with fashion

2:28 PM Kim: And yet, you look so chic! Not automated at all. That Annie Liebowitz fashion spread in Vogue, the Alice in Wonderland one--you looked marvelous.

2:29 PM Really, I said to myself, "Self, who is that marvelous fellow there?" And it was Karl Lagerfeld. I have been a fan ever since.

me: you have been doing your research I see!

2:30 PM Kim: I came to fashion late: raised by wolves in the state of Idaho, you know.

And then I got a subscription to Vogue.

2:31 PM me: oh, Anna will be pleased

Kim: So, Karl, we all want to know: what inspires you?

2:32 PM me: Everything that is happening, hmm? The world. Jelly. Turbans.Katamari. It is important to be inspired by everything

something Yves could never do...

2:33 PM Kim: How is Yves? Enjoying his "demise", hanging out with Elvis and Gianni?

2:34 PM me: Even though he's dead, Yves still is a sad old sack

because he loves being sad, really.

2:36 PM being sad is what makes Yves happy!

Kim: ah, Yves. He'll be forever known as the man who put women in pants. What will you always be known for, tell me?

2:37 PM me: I've always thought it's hard for a man to judge himself. what do you think I will be remembered for?

2:38 PM Kim: Sleeves. No one can set in sleeve like you. It's poetry in peau-de-soie.

2:39 PM That should read "set in a sleeve"

2:40 PM Let's not forget how you single-handedly saved the house of Chanel...

me: the thing with Yves is, he only did one thing

I did many

Gucci, Louis Vuttion (ugh) wouldn't exist without me

because I created the new Chanel

2:41 PM It looks like Anna's back. I have to go- she's in one of her moods

too much drink I think (and at work too!)

Kim: Au revoir, then!

me: Au revoir