Sunday, July 20, 2008

Hello? Are you listening to me?

Karl threw my last computer (that's what they are called, right?) out of my office window last week, because he read something on some website (I still don't know what this means) somewhere and didn't like it.

PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I DO NOT HAVE A COPY OF VOGUE ITALIA AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

So I just bought a stack of new ones just in case.  They are so shiny and pretty all stacked in the corner...  I might call in Demarchelier just to take a photo of them.  (Don't tell Karl I think Patrick takes much better photos - Karl just follows around pretty male models and calls it a new photographic movement.)

I cleaned out the Closet today - which basically means I declared the entire thing demode and Karl and I drank a lot of Veuve and watched the interns shred everything.  Then we had a photoshoot.

Tom Ford came by this afternoon.  I really love that man, but he is just so...  gay.  I mean, he has his chest hair selectively tweezed by little Korean women.  And his eyebrows are perfect.  I think he is a robot.  A very very gay robot.  I mentioned that Karl was coming later, and he got weepy and started blubbering about how he 'just wanted Karl to like him' blah blah blah.  I gave him a bottle of Veuve and a Xanax and told him to leave immediately.

THIS COFFEE IS COLD.  FIX IT NOW.

I must leave you, adoring public.  Karl is coming and we have to hide the models.

3 comments:

Ana Pinho said...

Greetings Fake Karl,

I work for a Brazilian website (South hemisphere, you wanted to come down with 20 bodyguards once, remember?) and I'd love to ask you a couple of questions.

Very easy, very stupid, I promise. Could you email me back at apinho@spfw.com.br?

Thank you,
Ana

Anonymous said...

so now we have fakeanna as well hmmmm. initially i thought how demode hmmmm? where is the originality? where is the relevance? but now i see the brilliance, like a new page turned and ripped out of a book. so brilliant. so au courant, so tres tres mode - bravo, fakekarl, bravo. airkisses 5 times, like a sullivan drinking bird (genius, the drinking bird hmmmm?)

Fashion Ethic said...

Was wondering where MY Vogue Italia is as well, Ms. Wintour. Could you have one of those lovely VOGUE assistants in the back of August's issue see to expediting issues to the West Coast?

Love.