Interview with Nicholas

me: Yves is lazy, says he wants to do something, then doesn't do it.Quell'horror! So, I shall do a 20 minute interview with you now, hmm?

6:13 PM nicholas: perfect

6:15 PM me: Well then. What do you think of the current state of the tea-in-the-closet industry these days? I think we did it more when I was younger...

nicholas: i do it all the time.

it is relaxing

sometimes i teleconference from there

6:16 PM there are not nice closets in china

this needs to be fixed.

6:17 PM me: I was speaking to Yohji the other day, he did a show there a while ago, he had the exact same problem!

6:18 PM nicholas: small communist wardrobes.

me: There he was, trying to hold a traditional Japanese tea in this horrible closet that Mao person used

6:20 PM Mao was bizzare anyway....Yves met him once. Said he was very bourgeoise.

nicholas: You can buy busts of him everywhere

we found rubber ones today - not quite sure why they made rubber ones.... not very attractive.

6:21 PM he has such an odd haircut.

and such terrible jackets.

a la armani 1982

me: oh god...Armani

that man scares me

his TAN.

6:22 PM nicholas: he must shower in tanning spray.

6:23 PM his face lift is also somewhat frightening.

me: He does not design anyway these days, hmm? I'm convinced he simply changes the colors or something

6:24 PM nicholas: i think he must have a beige colorwheel in his office that he spins and whatever it lands on, he just changes last season to the new beige

the phone he designed is terrrrrrible

it's a beige square.

6:25 PM me: He designed a phone?

See, I just don't bother keeping in the Italian fashion circle anymore

6:26 PM the only interesting person is that Prada lady, but her clothes look like they're taken from the backs of homeless people

nicholas: (that's how she does it - and why she's so rich)

6:27 PM me: actually she's one of the few that doesn't steal my designs, so she probably does steal them off homeless people

(exactly, hmm?(

nicholas: because she can just buy yachts instead of material

me: but she is witty at least. You need t be somewhat intelligent to fool people like that

6:28 PM nicholas: very true.

6:29 PM she also has an attitude that is very funny....

she's very interesting

6:30 PM me: mm. I like that. People are afraid to be interesting, hmm?

if I say "I am going to bath in vintage wine!" people just look at me as if I'm crazy or something

6:31 PM nicholas: that's what happened when i said i wanted to buy a mao statue and paint it metallic silver

it would be so warhol

6:32 PM me: Andy was great

6:33 PM anyway, I have another event to get going to

6:34 PM we can finish this sometime later, hmm? Maybe even tonight (another dinner with one of those rich French people. I'm going to see if I can get away with taking their bed)

nicholas: do it - i will be here

toiling for the chinese people

sans closet

me: lovely. as long as you have Dior Homme, you can be strong!

Dior Homme is strength!

6:35 PM (but the new designer- Kris whoever is an idiot. I don't like him)

(but more on that later)

au wiedersehen
me: Hello again! The dinner went very late last nigh

nicholas: did you manage to take the bed?

me: I did! I don't really know what to do with it now, though....

6:18 PM it's just sitting in the middle of my dining room

nicholas: you should pile it full of models and throw a party

and perhaps paint little chanel logos on them

6:19 PM me: I think I'll do both

the Chanel show's soon, I think people will be entertained

6:20 PM I'm already bored of it. Time to start design a new collection, hmm?

nicholas: exactly.

6:21 PM i am filing photos of pretty things into various folders on my laptop

which i will probably just end up deleting

me: that's what I do in life

6:22 PM it's a good waste of time, non?

nicholas: it's fantastic.

and you look quite busy.

6:23 PM me: indeed

oh, did you see the Dior Homme show?

nicholas: i did.

6:24 PM kris van assche is odd.

adorable.

but some of those pants...

me: I miss Hedi's clothes, to be honest

I like to say "I am in the now, I never wear last season"

nicholas: i miss the stick-thin-jet-black-ness of hedi's work

6:25 PM me: but right now I'm wearing a vintage Dior Homme suit

nicholas: i have had some chinese people clean my shoes

i am wearing them now, as it isn't as muddy as usual

6:26 PM me: how much do people cost these days?

maybe I should install a few shoe cleaners in Chanel stores

nicholas: in china, they are very inexpensive

but often they spit.

6:27 PM me: hm. have you noticed how the shop assistants never do anything?

6:28 PM they've almost made it a skill

maybe they could be the shoe cleaners

nicholas: they are pretty though.

6:29 PM me: are they? I never see their faces..

6:30 PM they all bow down to me

nicholas: as they should.

me: indeed. But it is good to know they are pretty.

6:32 PM nicholas: the girls are my favorite - they just sigh at you

so chic

me: I'm not really sure what I should interview you about. Maybe I'll just post these convos on the blog

6:33 PM but of course

even the Chanel bagpipes are chic

(we only made 5. there's a reson for that)

although, the Dior Homme show wasn't that bad

it just wasn't that good

6:34 PM nicholas: exactly.

6:35 PM me: so, what are you doing in China anyway?

6:36 PM nicholas: pretending to work at an architecture firm

quite taxing

6:37 PM i am doing a lot of graphic design

and shopping

6:38 PM me: oh lovely

I pretend to work at Chanel all the time

6:39 PM I go into my office, roll around on the chair

in fact I have races with Hedi (he doesn't do anything else these days) and Yves

even Anna once, when she was drunk

6:40 PM they think it's part of my "creative process"

6:41 PM nicholas: hhaha

exactly

i send my secretary to buy me chinese magazines

which i then have translated

while i wander around the office and steal office supplies

6:42 PM me: I miss being able to do it

I did that at Chloé, and I still have a drawer full of pens and such

6:43 PM but at Chanel I kind of own the place

I mean, there's those two brothers

but they don't count, hmm?

I'm not even sure if they're alive anymore

6:44 PM nicholas: hahah

me: does anyone know?

nicholas: no, noone knows anything.

6:45 PM that's why we have to tell them everything.