Monday, May 19, 2008

Chanel after me

So I've been thinking. I'm not always going to be around, because there's the possibility that I might die.
In the case that I do die, I've made some plans, hmm?

Chanel will not have any more designers if I die. (Not that I will, you know. But just in case).
I've designed enough designs to last several centuries. (They're in the back of my wardrobe, in the shoeboxes labelled "Chanel"). So, they can just make collections from them.

This of course means that I won't be throwing out old designs in plastic bags out of my window from now on: they need to be saved for the coming centuries.
I have to admit, I do feel a little guilty over this. What's the industry going to do without my old designs to steal? Literally hundreds of people will lose their jobs because no Stealing-Karl's-Designs industry will exist anymore, hmmm?

The other precaution I'm taking is having my key phrases programmed into a Karl Lagerfeld action figure (you can pull the string and hear phrases like: "You are a fatty, hmmm?", "Hmmmm", "You are ugly", and "Chanel or die". They can keep the action figure in my office if I die, in place of me. I expect the action figure to be taken care of. A bank account set up, a multi-million dollar salary from mini-Karl, a Mansion; invites to all the latest parties.
The won't even notice that it's not the real Karl.

Maybe I should have a Karl Lagerfeld impersonator to go to parties for me. There's an idea.
I hate parties. All those people.

I'm not going to die anyway. So no worries, hmmmm?

1 comment:

Emma Westbrook said...

This is brilliant.
I would so buy a Karl Lagerfeld action figure!