Friday, March 6, 2009

Paris- Balenciaga and Balmain

You know, Balenciaga should be very sorry for themselves. Yves just saw the Balenciaga collection and it made him cry. He's most upset. He doesn't understand that now he's "dead", and recently "dead" at that people are going to reference him to death (oh, haw haw). Currently he's in a corner, muttering things like: "Why couldn't they do Star Trek? Why couldn't they do it? Why not Karl? Why Not??"
I gave him a good slap for that.

Of course, Ghesquière claims his new collection is "Parisian". Bob Dylan's new unreleased album is more Parisian than this, hmm? Paris is not so...vulgar. Or maybe it is, but I'm not going to admit that. Non, I am giving young Mr. Ghesquière a B+ for effort. Do better next time, hmm? Really now. From futurism to this? Beam me up Yves?

Of course, at least it wasn't the awful mess that Balmain was. I do not care what the awful French woman says about Balmain: it is simply a look, and a very tired one at that! It is so cheap! So nasty! I always advise prostitutes to wear something other than Balmain. Wear a nice Chanel jacket and some Ann Demeulemeester boots. There's no point in paying so much money to look so cheap, as you would with Balmain, hm? If you really must look like a vapid socialite just go naked. Wear a shower curtain or somesuch. Wear a bra if you happen to wear one.

Actually, I think I'll start a new charity in order to give out bras to former models. They start to develop breasts once they become fat, like that Kate girl.
We'll call it "SAINT KARL DE BRAS." I'll get an assistant to do the details.

Shall I even mention Gareth "so avant garde he couldn't change a Rick Owens lightbulb" Pugh? Terrible, as per usual. When I worked at Chloe, Mme. Aghion would screw up about half my sketches. She was a wonderful woman. It appears that Mr. Pugh's backers have gone one step further- and are screwed up in the head. Delusional.