I see my darling Jane has met a nice young man, called Kanye West. You will recall he was my stalker at fashion week. We will be having him over for dinner. I am dreading it, because it means that I will have to smell food. Maybe I can have a bubble constructed, where the young Mr. West can eat whilst I stare at him through my dark glasses. Like in that movie about the bubble boy. I will then ask him questions:
1.) What do you do?
2.) Would you consider powdering your hair?
3.) Why do you stalk me at Paris fashion week with my usual hormonal crowd of female stalkers?
4.) Can I take photos of you? I'm going to, anyway.
5.) I see you wear dark glasses too. Is it because you can kill a person with your stare, as I can?
6.) Does this mean looks can kill?
7.) Are you Bungalow Bill?
8.) If X is W, and V is Z, what is why?
9.) How did Coco Chanel trim "down there"?
10.)Could you please stop touching me? Or else.
I think that's about all I want to ask him, though I may think of more questions once he sits down in his bubble. Any suggestions, dear reader?