Sunday, April 27, 2008

Louis Vuitton sends in the lawyers

This morning (I never go out of the house in the mornings, it bores me), I was disrupted by a knock on my door. This is bad in itself- knocks on the door are not very Chanel. It could only be an unfashionable person. One of the ugly ones.
They were lawyers.

Dressed head to toe in Louis Vuitton they probably thought they were the yaks knees, as my Mother used to say in the old days (the bad old days). They looked like supermarket bags.

As soon as they enter my drawing room I say, "I am sorry, but I do not wish to buy a used car".
They said: "ahh, we're not used car salesmen. We are from Louis Vuitton, the premier luxury goods maker". "Is this a Louis Vuitton I haven't heard of? " I say. They continue: "We are sure you have heard of us, Karl". They wait for me to reply.

I "um" and "ahhhhh", eventually staring into space. For 30 minutes I do this.
(This usually scares them off, and they make an excuse to leave. Not these ones).

"It's about a blog you wrote about us, Karl".
"on April the 26th you wrote on your blog..." (here I cut them off) "please get to the point hm? Your story is boring me".
They stutter.
I take off my Dior homme sunglasses and give them the death stare.
"Gents, I do not have much time to spare, hmmm? Please use the servant's entrance next time."

Lawyers should be only seen and heard in courthouses, hm?