Tuesday, May 26, 2009

White Roses on the Shadow of Soon

I interviewed a young person named Rachael Please. I am enjoying interviewing these young people. The youth today! So feisty! This young person has an album coming out, on the 30th. One may obtain it by emailing rachaelplease@gmail.com or going onto this young person's "Myspace", I suppose. I don't email- I only write letters. By the way, a young woman emailed me about where I get all my nieces from. I generally find nieces in garbage bins of gold and silver, or in record stores where they sell only polka dot shirts. I like estrogen, hmm?

Where do bees come from?
Rachael Please says:
Bees are the living perspiration of our lord and saviour Jesus H. Christ, sent to punish innocent people, in classic Christ fashion. It's horrible really.
What about honey?
Rachael Please:
You don't even want to know... lets just say there is a lot of "manual labor" involved. Clothing is generally not an option.
If a chessboard is on a table, where is the nearest castle?
Rachael Please:
Somewhere in the future...
What about Hamlet's Rose?
Rachael Please:
I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about... This is the 21st century, I'm pretty sure anything that came before the 80's got thrown in a landfill somewhere in Orange County. Sorry.
K :
So you're an 80's fan? Where's the leggings, hmm?
Rachael Please:
Oh me, no, I'm not an 80's fan, I'm speaking objectively. The world forgets things pretty quickly, art in particular, if you can't fuck, eat, or dance to it, it's not worth remembering. Haven't you heard?
I only remember things that you can eat to not eat them
How do you feel about the 90's?
Rachael Please says:
I think the 90's were great, a lot of innovation took place, people started making really different things, probably more then than any other time in history, and I don't just mean in music, but music especially underwent serious changes, unfortunately those positive innovations had a negative effect on music as a whole being that they spawned millions of unoriginal counter-artists, most of which still plague us today. Turn on the radio, you'll shoot yourself. It wasn't always like that, and I don't think it always will be. I mean, they'll have to play my music eventually.
K says:
Do you feel like the Indian of the group?
Rachael Please:
I feel like the Jew of the group, if that means anything... good music has been systematically slaughtered in favor of cheap auto-tuned money machine bullshit, I'm like the one that survived, everybody else got tired and quit, or sold out. I'm just getting started with these people, "These People" of course meaning every fucking one.
K: How scary! Would you like a mint?

And now I have some questions for all of you:
Where is the harlequin's castle?
Who owns the farm, and how many geese does it take to get there?
How many doves do you posses?


Anonymous said...

I worry our beloved Karl has suffered a stroke do to this bizarre and incoherent post.

Karl - do not go towards the light! hmm?

Amber. said...

The harlequin's castle? Why of course it lies deep in Italy, in a valley, but you must take care because there are dancing girls hidden in the rose bushes adorned with thorns.

As for the farm I believe Jack owns it, after that terrible run in with the magic beans and the giant he bought back his cow and lives on a farm. To get there you must have ten geese, not just any but geese that lay golden eggs. Eat the golden eggs and the geese will take you there. (Or force one of your assistants to eat them because eating is demode n'est-ce pas?)

I possess no doves. All the white and innocence clashes with my personality. I do however possess moves and these I use voraciously and often.

As for nieces, I myself reside in a garbage bin of silver that is full of polka dot shirts. Why have we never met?