Thursday, December 16, 2010

Anna D

I was talking to Anna dello Russo the other day, who has recently become one of those "internet people" who have more images on the blogs than Andy Warhol has paintings. Consequently, she has her photograph taken a lot. She was wearing a golden garment which resembled a sheep upturned.
"Anna, is this really a golden sheep?" I asked.
"No, no, it is imitation golden sheep" she whispered back, as if ashamed of this fact. I wondered where one would obtain an actual golden sheep. I supposed that one had probably been caught by D on one of her safaris- surely the Africans would have one, what with all the exotic creatures in Africa. Zebras and such. The western world has to make do with LA- a veritable hunting ground if you're that way inclined.
Anyway, Anna said that she had been standing there for two days because the photographers won't go away and isn't it rude to leave them?
"So you were just standing there?" I said.
"Oui", she said. "I was once in the middle of the first world war- you know the one?"
"I know the one. Quite well known."
She preened at me. "I'd expect so, if I were in it! Anyway- I stopped this world war one for a whole five days because the photographers wanted to take pictures of me. Pin up, was the phrase they used", she said, pronouncing it "peen up".
"Didn't you get bored?"
"Being bored isn't something people with lower shoulders on their jackets do, Karl."
"This is why I'm glad nobody knows who I am. I am a complete nobody" I said, as two hundred and fifty seven flashes went off.

Note: Readers, you may have notice that I have been quite...apathetic with posts this year. This is because, well, I can do as I please, but also because I am writing a novel. You will be able to purchase it at some point within the next year. I am thinking of titling it "KARL LAGERELD: MEMOIRS OF A DRESSMAKING PROSTITUTE", though I am in no way writing a memoir. But it's a lovely word, isn't it? It sounds like a silk slip. Perhaps I will call it "KARL LAGERFELD: SILK SLIP DRESSMAKING", but then everybody will think I am a company selling silk slips. I have no desire to clothe you in silk slips, I assure you.


sweetarchivia said...

A novel?! Surely the title must be something meaner like "Karl - I'm hotter than YOU!" or "Karl - a guide to dressing for the uglies" lol Good luck with the book!

Anonymous said...

Karl your book will be genius I'm sure. The title will be tricky. How to put all of your skill and style into one title? It may be impossible. 'Karl - better than Yves' is really only the tip of the iceberg but may suffice. No doubt you will find a fitting title. You just need to make sure that the book doesn't become popular amongst the tragically demode lest your reputation be tarnished.

Pashupati said...

« "[...]Pin up, was the phrase they used", she said, pronouncing it "peen up". »
Wait, wait! How do you pronounce it?

川久保玲への手紙 said...

Karl lagerfeldt: tråkig som fan is the perfect name, interesting because it's swedish and people can't understand the meaning wich is good;) unless you don't translate it, see you in paris!!!!

michael said...

O_o A novel!!!

*fetches tent to camp out for book signing*