Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A History Lesson

The "house of concrete money", Margiela, will not have a creative director/designer replacing Mr. Margiela after his departure several months ago. Writes the wonderful Suzy Menkes in the IHT: "Ever since Karl Lagerfeld was tapped by Chanel in 1983, followed by John Galliano at Christian Dior in 1997, other storied houses have tried to fill the shoes of a deceased or departed creator. But as the design appointments become a revolving door at houses like Nina Ricci or Emanuel Ungaro, the replacement mechanism seems to have broken down."

This would be all very well and good if Margiela was producing collections worth looking at since Mr. Margiela's departure. Instead, the collections produced have been haphazard, amateurish, and resemble a 5 year old's science project. The "replacement mechanism" has worked many times, hm? Lanvin, Dior (I suppose), Dior homme, Jil Sander, Issey Miyake, Burberry, and so on. This replacement mechanism Mrs. Menkes speaks of is only broken because sub-par "designers" (a certain Ms. Lohan) and designers ill-suited for the house in question have been hired. This is a fault on the part of management.

I urge you, readers, to think back to a time before I was at Chanel. Yes, dear reader, there was a time! I was once only designing 275 collections a year, as opposed to the 300 when I started with Chanel. Anyway- Chanel was a snoring troll. It wasn't even a sleeping beauty- it was incredibly ugly. It had warts and it hadn't had a haircut in a decade and the dress it wore wasn't even couture. People has dismissed Chanel as something "of the past"- I kid you not! And how did this happen? Why, because Chanel was designed by a team. A committee.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, committees are for communists and democracies. Not for a dictatorship! Not for an auteur, such as myself, or such as Mr. Hitchcock.
I agree- collaboration is important, and I wouldn't be anywhere without my little old French seamstresses. But even they (of course they) would balk at the idea of this...democracy idea, or worse, this communism idea. It simply doesn't work. There's too many forms to fill, to many people to agree with. Do you know what's more effective than democracy? A guillotine. I have one sitting in my office, actually. It's very good for making deals. The French kings had the right idea, no?


Bluefemme said...

I completely agree with you. And I agree that it shouldn't be a team designing it.

pow said...

What about Balenciaga and replacement?

Anonymous said...

I think that's the highest praise you've ever given Galliano! I'm surprised, Uncle.

Anonymous said...

Collaborations are key...Mussolini wasn't on Hitler's committee! He was his minion. And here lies the problem dear Uncle...it is so, so...so trying to have competent minions. There is after all a difference between minion and goon, tis the difference between a good dictator and a silly one. You Sir, are a good one.

CingizBleaving said...

Well put Uncle. Fashion for all its frolics, frocks and fun, is in fact a business. It is a well oiled moneymaking machine cloaked with a lovely visage, and although we fall in love with the facade, the dreams and the fancy, we cannot allow ourselves to forget that fashion is not a democracy. It requires a sharp mind and sharper tongue to start a revolution, or for that matter to father a trend. I'd call it a dictatorship but for the sake of the fancy, for the daydreams and for the pomp and circumstance, I'd call it a monarchy.

Kolsoum Amirbandeh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kaleighgolightly said...

that Kolsoum person sounds suspiciously like a communist.
fairness! equality! me me me!
what a bore.

i know a communist 'person' (because once you are a communist, everyone knows you cease to exist but for the ugliness of the state) who once wore a 'provocative slogan t-shit' as they are so fond of wearing emblazoned with the words 'WHAT IS FASHION?'
i said to him, "so, vlad," (because so convinced he is of his destiny as philosopher king (!) his name could be none other) "so, vlad, what IS fashion?"
"exactly." he replied, inhaling dramatically from a hand-rolled state-issued cigarette.
confused, i asked, "But what would Karl say? do you think he would approve of such nonsense?"
"from each according to his ability, to each according to his need," he stated, proudly.

Imagine! i ask about fashion and he thinks i am talking about old beardy Karl MARX as if he was some sort of expert, and not dear old Uncle, our beloved dictator of taste!

"so my ability to tell you how ugly and idiotic that shirt is necessitates the need for you to burn it immediately?" the logic seemed sound to me.
"well that's not really ho-"
stopping him with a wave of my hand, i shook my head sadly at the sad shared state of even the idiots, tossed a diet coke and some sequins at his feet and walked away to mourn.