On British Vogue and other things

A couple of days ago a letter arrived on my desk, interrupting my reading of Dance Dance Dance. I read most of the letters that come upon my desk, as they go through a rather stringent process involving an old woman who braids the envelopes, a former food critic who licks them, and a perfumer who smells them. The letter was from "Alexandra Shulman", who is apparently the editor of British Vogue. I've always thought of British Vogue as this dusty little outpost, where there's one sheriff in town and electricity is a recent invention. We have the interns deal with British Vogue.

Now, this Alexandra person writes that it's the designer's fault that we have size 0 as the size for a model. Or size negative 0. Dear Alexandra fails to mention that it was her and her magazine which introduced heroin chic. Here she is, complaining about "size 0" and she is the one who introduced the trend that set this all off. I smell a hypocrite! She goes on to complain that the samples that houses like Chanel send out are too small. Oh, diddums. The fact is that people like Alexandra have been requesting clothes in That Specific Size for a long time. Take note that these samples are free as well- half of them don't come back because there's an awful lot of kleptomaniacs at fashion magazines. (At least when the samples are smaller, less people can steal the clothes- which is probably Alexandra's real reason for this letter- she won't fit into the samples that she wants to steal because she is too fat!)

As for models being too thin, this is the magazine's choice. I do not get some girls, package them up and send them off to British Vogue (nor any other magazine, with the exception of Parisian Vogue, which I did send a couple of models in a box, along with a couple of dress to. The models were meant to model the clothes, but unfortunately the idiot that unpackaged the box failed to see the models and they had to hitchhike back to my house in New York.) It's the choice of the magazine to use these models, no? It's them placing skinny girls on the cover, and between the covers.

You know, this is all just publicity whoring. "Oh look at me!" Alexandra seems to be saying. "I am anti-size 0! I am the fat lady's friend!" This lady is no friend of the fat person, and I don't believe she's genuine about this letter anyway. She's in fashion, hmm? Her magazine has the thin girls on the cover, not mine. As per usual, we fashion designers are the victim here. Discriminated against, once again.

What I propose is that people like Alexandra model the clothes. You know, normal people. Let them model the clothes and I will send them the samples, tailored to perfection. We'll see how well they do as models, hmmm?