Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ratched

I don't know how other designers live with themselves between collections. Most designers, you see, don't do as much work as I and only have collections to design. I just don't understand that. Don't they get bored?

Anyway, today was April fools in some parts of the world. I designed an entire collection and gave it to the seamstresses, who diligently made it. I then said "April fools!" once they had made sufficient progress. I laughed. "Ha ha ha."

Anna and I- we haven't talked for a while, actually. I've got a new replacement for Brad, you see, and I've been trying to learn his name. Well, not really. I'll learn it one day. For now he answers to "Brad."
As for Brad, he went into real estate. Because that's what people do when they become fat and ugly; ISN'T IT BRAD.
So Brad does not exist anymore. Does anybody remember Trotsky? Not in Soviet Russia! Because Trotsky never existed. I do love Stalin's system of airbrushing people out of history. Who knew they had photoshop then?

But as I was saying, Anna and I haven't talked for a while. For April fools, we decided to go into the Prada store and order 100 of those wader things Cathy (Horyn) is so fond of.
The Prada store works like any other fast food outlet- KFC, Taco Bell, and so on. The product is prepared when purchased. There's a sweatshop full of Indian and Chinese children behind the facade of clothes and shoes. Behind those paper thin walls, Mrs. Prada cracks a whip as she stalks the sweat-stained wooden room; kicking the chains of the little children that prepare Anna and I's waders. A fisherman stands in the corner, cackling evilly on his pipe and dressed in fish skin. He's Mrs. Prada's new lover, and he gave her the idea of waders.
Once the waders were prepared, Anna said "Oh...no. I don't think we want those now."
We walked out. There is now a large pile of one hundred waders sitting in the New York Prada flagship store. No doubt they'll sell them to stupid people tomorrow.

In other news, happy birthday to Jules, my most favourite bunny of every bunny ever.

3 comments:

Vidal Wu said...

I'm absolutely SHOCKED you didn't have something fish-themes thrown at you. Maybe she finally cleaned up her act!

Amanda said...

Isn't the idea of erasing history hilarious?! It's like being in the constant state of permanently crashing dinner parties! Thus far it is impossible to do so Globally, let's take your example of Trotsky for example. The "dinner party" of the Soviet Union won't remember what was discussed prior crashing and will probably shy away from hosting duties indefinitely, but the gossip of the patrons will filtrate into countless circles. Just as Trotsky slipped into Mexico and into the tumultuous marriage of Frida Kahlo, which inevitably was cause to his demise. Do you see what I mean? I hope you do. Anyways, way to celebrate April Fools Karl, keep Prada busy!

they call me electropop said...

I just love you, Karl