Friday, August 28, 2009

Balmain Men's is Disgusting and Demode

Well, children, it's probably time I wrote a new entry or somesuch. I've been in New York City lately, but I do believe I've had enough- back to Paris, just as August ends. Collections and all that. I'm tempted to hold the Chanel show in a supplies closet this season, or maybe a cleaning cupboard. A very chic one, of course. All white and quilted- I just think it'd be amusing to see all these people try and force themselves into the cupboard. There'd be people on the ceiling and walls and so on- it'd be quite the sight! Although I dare say I could probably fit quite a few models in there. As I've said before, we actually ship our models in suitcases. (They're very nice suitcases of course, don't you worry about that.)

When I was in NY, the New York Times ended up mentioning me in a piece about finger puppets or something. You can find it here. You know, soon I'll be making a "press" section, like our good friend Scott, hm? I think the finger puppets idea is cute, but really, what would be better is a kind of fashion Muppet show. One can imagine it already: a couple of judges, say, Yves and I- a show where puppet Marc Jacobs is Miss Piggy, and Alber is Kermit (Alber has had rather more cakes that Alber, but he has the humility, no?) And on it goes- Jean Paul as Gonzo (or Galliano?), etc etc. And of course there'd be guests- Cathy Horyn singing and playing the saxophone, Suzy Menkes telling stories, Tom Ford telling the audience how to shave'd be delightful. Call it The Karl Lagerfeld Show, or something similar. Like Johnny Cash.

So I was actually talking about this idea with Miss. See Scheleyes, Miss. Mary, and a few others. It ended up turning into a radio show, because I remember turning the transistor radio when I was a little boy- turning the knob and sound coming out of that great edifice. Obviously, I'm not saying we should return to the past- I hate the past, I loath it- but I do think there's a certain value to radio. One can listen and still sketch. I suppose this counts as an accouncement of sorts, for The Karl Lagerfeld Show, a whenever-I-feel-like-it radio show featuring many guests and assorted music. It will be available here sooner rather than later.

I noticed that Balmain has made a collection for men today, since nobody went to their show in Paris. I'm convinced that one day- pretty soon- Balmain will put on a show and there'll be about 5 guests. They'll all be coked out of their minds, aging and looking like Nico post-1960.

Take note of those soul-crushing eyes. Anyway- this Balmain show I'm describing will be The Final Balmain Show Ever and there'll be 5 coked out 40 year olds, waiting to buy the same party dresses that the hobo who designs Balmain has been designing for the last 20 years. Anyway, this Balmain Men's...merchandise resembles the sort of clothes an anorexic plumber would wear. Anorexic plumbers are not very fashion.


Anonymous said...
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Tavi said...

Cathy Horyn can be one of the critics

Anonymous said...

Finger puppets?
So let me get this right, all those designers who need to pull the finger OUT are actually going to be sticking them right back up their own woolly backsides?

(But hey, it's fashion, I might just buy some)..

Shelby said...

What would your suitcase look like M. Karl.
I mean, if someone were to ship you...

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