Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Rich/Mrs. R G Razia

Carine and I were having a non-lunch the other day, at one of our favourite places to not eat- Quintette du Hot Club de France (they do a divine diet Coke). We were discussing the usual- J.D's death, Nabokov being dead for quite a bit longer and Lester Bangs continuing to write me stalkeresque letters from beyond the grave. Oh, and beheading people. It works quite well- it even works for the peasants! A kind of universal way of doing things, free of class- like Coca Cola. All beheadings are the same. The president of the United States of America can behead somebody, Elizabeth Taylor can behead somebody, a bum can behead somebody.

Anyway, about half an hour into our conversation, a woman named Regina G Razia came up to Carine. She's an old sort of socialite, the kind who looks like they're going to fall leopard skin pillbox hat-first into their grave. Every pore of her is filled with botox.
"OH MY GOD CARINE. ARE YOU WEARING PINK ON A TUESDAY?"
"..Excuse me?"
"I SAID: ARE YOU WEARING PINK ON A TUESDAY? IT'S PINK ON WEDNESDAYS, GOSH." "Well. I'm actually wearing black, but anyway.."
"I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS IN MY MAGAZINE! THERE'LL BE A SCANDAL. A SCANDAL, I TELL YOU."
"Mrs. Razia, I don't believe you have a magazine."
"WELL...A BLOG" "A blog, hm?" I said.
"I JUST GOT ONE ON BLOGSPOT. IT'S ALREADY GOT TWENTY HITS. YOU'LL ALL SEE! YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU WORE PINK ON A TUESDAY! IT'S JUST SIMPLE ETIQUETTE."

"The rich. They're not like us" I said to Carine, as I blew my nose on my Herm├Ęs handkerchief.

7 comments:

fledgling said...

when she does in fact fall hat first into her grave, make sure to grab said hat and mail it over to fledgling.

xoxo
maxwell conrad

www.fledglingblog.blogspot.com

Ross said...

There will be a scandal, when she is found by her butler with Karl's sunglasses layed atop her unheaving chest.

Allegra said...

just came across your blog. love it!

larapollinare said...

Will you say some words for Alexander? The world just got uglier.

Mumtaz® ♥♥♥♥ said...

Haha pink on tuesday and black on wednesday.Plz chek out my blog

http://www.2009designer.blogspot.com/

and yuup i know where all your shops are lol

snoblak said...

Hahaha... sometimes I dont get what you are talking about but still find it amusing. ;-)

ArwenIvy said...

Ha! Love the Philosophy of Andy Warhol-esque beheading reference...