Love, a short poem

Love is very demode,
And weddings are quite out of date,
Anyway- how can one be fashionably late,
To a wedding of their own date?

I once had a lover myself,
Until he hid under some drainpipe cover,
And scampered off with some little lover,
This was quite a bore

To be quite honest, I'm simply sick of giving advice,
To all those couples who end up having fights,
Over who owns what and what owns who,
Isn't it simply better not to love at all?

Consider the financial implications of such:
No lover, no money spent,
Perhaps buy an artwork instead;
Or a coat of delicious animal fur

Also, there's no dinners or dates,
When one is sitting on the shelf,
One will become much more thin,
And besides, there is always the option to telephone a prostitute