Grandma Anna (or: The September Issue)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
It wore a Prada nose, I do believe,
You can say there's no such thing as fatties,
But as for me and Alber, we believe

She'd been drinking too much vodka,
And we'd begged her not to go,
But she'd left her sunglasses,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her September mornin',
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And fattie hand-prints on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house September eve,
You can say there's no such thing as fatties,
But as for me and Alber, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Alber,
He's been takin' this so well,
See him in there sewing dresses,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's just not September without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in Coco's black,
And we just can't help but wonder,
Should we bury her with vodka or without?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house September eve,
You can say there's no such thing as fatties,
But as for me and Alber, we believe

Now the goose is on the table,
Alber's gonna eat it all,
I'm drinking diet coca-cola,
That would've matched the colour of dear ol' Grandma's soul

I've warned all my friends and neighbours,
Better watch out for yourselves,
They should never give a licence,
To a man who weighs more than the sleigh,

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house September eve,
You can say there's no such thing as fatties,
But as for me and Alber, we believe