Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Cafe Wonderland and Forever 21

Today as I was sitting in the only cafe in Paris that does not serve food, a skirmish broke out between the two tables beside me. It was just me by myself; I like to be alone. It turned out that these people were arguing about stores such as "forever 21" (whoever'd want to be 21 forever is a mystery to me- it kind of reminds me of those people who have a mental age of 6 or 5 or whatever, even when they're 40. What do they call them? The handicapped, I believe)- they were arguing about stores such as this "21 forever" copying designer's designs. One girl- dressed all in black and carrying a black bracelet, was arguing that people who dislike clones of designs- inferior copies, are snobs. On the other side sat a few more people- a man in dark sunglasses and a dark green hat, a couple of girls- one wearing the most fascinating leggings. Of course they were arguing against this, saying it's simply a matter of protecting a designer's creations. I heard words like "artistic integrity" being thrown around (and out the window, I assume. I sometimes wonder how much money those cafes in the earlier half of the century here in Paris spent on window repairs, what with all the arguments and such.)

One can guess which side I was on, hmm? In fact- I wasn't on any side, until they got so loud that they infringed on the sonic-walls of my ipod earbuds. I stood up, and the room went silent- they all seemed to become very, very small before me. It was an Alice in Wonderland situation- I was a giant Alice- in skinny jeans. I said "How would you like it if people passed Beethoven's music as their own, hmm?"
The opposing side piped up; claiming that fashion and music are different- you're not selling music.
"I think you'd find that many people sell music" said I. "Have you heard of concert tickets?"
At this my crowd- by this point they are my crowd, cheered. It was a very hip cheer. Very angular. Very black and white. None of this yellow-fuzzy-cheering that most people partake in these days.

I get very, very, very annoyed at these hipsters who claim that a fashion designer does not have the same rights as an author or an artist. Black civil rights are so 20th century, hmm? It is now all about designer civil rights. We deserve the same rights as any other creator. Many of these hipsters say that the people who buy the "forever 21's" clothes wouldn't buy the original designs anyway. I don't care! Many people who liked "Eve of Destruction" don't like "A Hard Rain's a-gonna Fall, hm? Some people prefer the inferior product, yet it is my design that's being made inferior. A Karl Lagerfeld design can never be made inferior! It makes me vomit! It makes my entourage vomit! It makes the world vomit! How would...oh, let's pick on Picasso (I never liked him- his daughter is a delight, though.) How would Mr. Picasso feel if somebody came and spraypainted a work of his, and sold it as a Picasso? Knowing the egotistic bastard, he'd probably throw a tantrum.

Until the last piece of chiffon flies with pride, until designers walk down the street fingerless-glove-in-fingerless-glove with artists, and with the same rights as artists; until we can be free from this oppression from the no-good copycats, the uncreative who cannot design for themselves, the teenage whores the these forever-and-ever 21's who think fashion comes out of magazines. Until then, I, Karl Lagerfeld will tirelessly fight for the rights of designers the world over. Or at least myself.

8 comments:

Shaka said...

I applaud you sir.

Pixellatedsoul said...

Here here.

Arabelle said...

i spy ourselves in their, my dear and favorite uncle of mine. i love you!

you know who i am said...

artistic integrity is a myth, dear. i stand by what i said.

K said...

SO SO FUNNY!! HAHAHAH- KANYE WEST LAUGHS TOO, AND HE HAS FUCKED MY TABULATOR UP, SO I CAN ONLY WRITE IN CAPSLOCK!

Katie said...

Big ego much?

isabel said...

A cafe that does not serve food in Paris, designers not having "artistic integrity"? No! What has this world come to?

stephizzo said...

that was funny