Actually, I was at the funeral

People have been asking why I didn't go to Yves' funeral.
800 people went, they say.
The truth is the only interesting person there is Yves. And he is dead. (or is he?).
Out of 800 people, only one of them is interesting!

It's pretty hard to talk to dead people. Or people who aren't there.

They're wrong anyway. I was there. In the coffin. (Just like the bed I slept in as a child, hmm?).
Later my people dug me out again. While I was waiting I conducted a meeting via my Chanel phone (the one with the self-destruct button).