Showing posts with label olsens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label olsens. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Karl's school days

Gosh. It's been a while, hasn't it?
You know, I remember my school days quite clearly. Karl claims to have never have gone to school, and in a way that's true. He just scared the teachers so he rather ran the school rather than going to it.
Karl: Anna! Come over here, hmm?
Anna: You know Karl, I'm British. We're not even the same age. I really shouldn't be in this storyline.
Mary-Kate: Nor should I, really. I'm decades younger than you!
Karl: Oh dear. Well. I've got something more important than time paradoxes and such, hmm? See that girl over there?
Mary-Kate: That one?
Karl: The fatty, yes.
Mary-Kate: I'm just going to put my Margiela sunglasses on so I don't have to see her.
Anna: ..nevermind them not existing..
Margiela Sunglasses: We do exist! We're a real boy! We're a real boy!
Mary-Kate: Well now, mr. Martin Margiela sunglasses; you're going on my eyes.
Margiela Sunglasses: The hangover! The hangover!
Karl: Shhh! See that girl over there? She called me a snob.
Anna: I can't believe it!
Karl: Just because I'm wearing a Dior Homme jacket!
Anna: Horrible.
Karl: You know, we need to rise against this class warfare. It is so demode. Why can't they just leave the beautiful people alone? They don't get it.

And this is something that's quite true. "They" being the demode ones, don't get it.
You people who read this journal-thing-- diary? Anyway, you people who read this know what I'm talking about. It's horrible. It's so sad that only such a tiny fraction of people- and a tiny fraction of people "get" fashion. This...this...might be a tear. Don't tell.

Woman 1: Ohh! Let's buy this Chanel bag! It has lots of logos on it!
Woman 2: We must get this skirt! It's MARC JACOBS.
Woman 3: We must get this condom; it's BALENCIAGA.
Woman 2: But you're a lesbian.
Woman 3: It's BALENCIAGA.
Bookmark and Share

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Bookshop

Person: Karl, can could I please buy this book?
Karl: Hmm? You want to buy this book?
Person: Yes.
Karl: Get on the scales, then.
Person: What???
Karl: We need to see if your weight suits that book. Brad! Get the scales!
Person:..?!?
Karl: Just step over here. Hmm.
Person: Hmmm?
Karl: I'm the only one that does those "hmm?"'s, hmm?
Person: ...yes.
Karl: Just stand on the scales!
Person: ...
Karl: You are 50 kgs. That's pretty fat, for someone who wears Balenciaga!
Person: but?
Karl: No buts! Run! Run! Run!
Person: [starts running]
Karl: Why are you running around my bookshop, hmmm?
Person: You [puff] told me [puff] too!
Karl: Stop it! Let's weigh you.
Person: [steps on scales]
Karl: 49.99!
Person: Is it good enough?
Karl: Are your jeans skinny enough?
Person: Yes Karl! My jeans are skinny! My jeans are skinny!
Karl: Okay. 500 Pounds.
Person: The price says $40, and this is France so what you're doing charging in those amounts--
Karl: Do you weigh $40?
Person: I weigh 49.99...
Karl: KILOGRAMS. NOT DOLLARS.
Person: I suppose you're right, then.
Karl: $600 now.
Person: what th-?
Karl: You're wasting my time!
Mary-Kate Olsen: You don't have to be around people who waste your time, Karl.
Ashley Olsen: You can be with us.
Mary-Kate: I see you've got a daughter now.
Ashley: What about us.
Karl: SCALES! NOW! BOTH OF YOU! BRAD...DEAL WITH THIS FATTY.
Bookmark and Share