"Free Dress"

My daughter's school (yes, school. How demode, hmm? I never did this "school" thing. The teachers dressed badly. And why should I be around people I don't like, hmm? Why should I?)
Anyway. Jane's school had a "free dress day" which when in my day indicated going to school naked. Not that I went to school. So I went to the studio naked instead. We all did. All the beautiful people, naked and beautiful. How chic!
But at Jane's school "free dress day" means that they can dress however they want, which implies some sort of uniform. I refuse to look at Jane when she is in uniform. It could hurt my eyes. It would hurt my eyes.
Frankly, I don't know how she gets through the day wearing that thing. And having to look at other people in the same uniform, too! It's inhumane. It's an atrocity.

So, she dressed well for "free dress day" as she always does. But her school won't let her wear heels! What sort of freedom is that? What sort of freedom is it, when one cannot wear heels? What sort of WORLD are we coming to, hmmm? I realize that the world has some pretty horrible things in it, but this is simply oppressive.

Now, I think we should take action. And when I say "we" I mean the chic people who read this blog. I want you to get your best pair of heels on, right now. Go, do it. Go into your shoe closet (which is ideally located inside your bigger closet) and get them out, and put them on, and stand up and say "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
Scream it out of the top of your little lungs. Thrash your Chanel purse around as you say it, beat your sugardaddy with your Chanel purse. Get your heels and stomp the damn ground with them, break your Italian tiles with your itty-bitty pin-like spikes of your heels, and write with your lipstick on the walls of your house: CHANEL.
Say it. "CHANEL CHANEL CHANEL CHANEL."

It is outrageous that Jane may not wear heels. It makes me almost feel emotion. Almost.