Letter to those cats who copy my style

Hey man,

A groovy chick I know, told me about all these cats who are copying me on lookbook dot nu. I don't think that's too groovy, man. You gotta be groovy or leave, you dig?

I mean, it's about the truth, you know. I can't tell you the truth. You gotta look truth right in the eye and see it's hopeless desolation and lonliness, 'cause nobody's gonna give truth a pipe to light. It's just all there, sitting on the shelf on it's lonesome. It's about truth and evil and clocks and watermelons. All that kind of thing.

So look, man. And when I say man, I mean this man. There he lies, this poor beggar. This celluloid knight of black and white. It's just not groovy to copy me! It's just, not where it's at. You gotta lotta nerve to be copying me, you know that? You gotta lotta nerve!

Man. Who even cares. You're like Donovan, or someone. You're like a naked person covered by all your lies. You don't even know who you are! 'Cause you're all too busy being pretty being me; and you've lost whatever sort of cat you used to be. Man.

You're not too groovy lookbook. You need a shave.

Karl-Fu

Hello, young grasshopper. There are moves which are not in the traditional Karl-Fu lookbook; and they're not in there for a reason. However, today I shall explain them-- too many people who don't follow Karl-Fu are using these moves, and it irritates me. The art is something to be not made a joke of, hmm?

The first forbidden move is "Pigeon Stance", named after the failed shoemaker L. Pigeon, who had the habit of standing in this manner before he was assassinated by "The Sole". Example here.
Note how her feet are turned inwards; as if she is a pigeon. This is not a good stance. You may think it makes you look adorable, but in fact it makes your power very much weaker; and your ability to strut is severely compromised.
Oh, and it makes you look like a tosser. That too, hmm?

The second forbidden move is "Downwards Gaze", a move invented by a very ugly person who was too ugly to look at people. There is another school of thought that believes it was invented by "The Shameful Teenager", or "The Drug Addict in Court". Make up your own mind, hmm?
Downwards gaze looks like this.
Note how she utilizes both "Pigeon Stance" and "Downwards Gaze" at the same time. This person is a student of the dark arts, hmm? We do not do downwards gaze simply because it stops our ability to stare and intimidate people. Use sunglasses instead.

The third and final forbidden move that I shall speak about today is known as the "You Fuck Karl Off" stance (yes, I do swear. It's terribly vulgar, but there's really nothing else to describe this). Here is an example, hmm? Now look at this person. His clothes are too big, of course. But his whole expression, his whole attitude says: "I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT FASHION AND I HAVE PICTURES OF RAF SIMONS ON MY WALL".
Yes, this person probably has a room lined with pictures of Raf Simons; a room where he practices curling up into a ball, as if he's some sort of portable vacuum cleaner or something. I don't care if this guy wears black and white every day, he takes it too seriously.

I would also like to say that I obviously hate this Lookbook-- AKA the dating site for hipsters. It is demode. We already there's many demode people in the world; do they really need to be put into one place, hmm?