Thursday, May 19, 2011

And While None Of You Were Paying Attention

Loyal Readers,

By now you will think that I have grown bored of this blog thing, that I have perhaps obtained a tumblr where I post pictures of macaroons with my portrait on them, or that I have decided to leave the world of the world wide interweb entirely and sculpt men I find beautiful and desirable out of materials such as chocolate or coffee. This has all been a rouse, as the more onto it of you will have realized. You who saw the symbols I wrote in the sky, and the smoke signals I made at the Vermont property, and the little encoded bits of information I've placed in the last few Chanel collections. Your savior has not left you, your savior has just reached the stage where he prefers to be perverse and cryptic to wheedle out all the chaff and find out who my True Followers are. This is important. I do not believe in a democratic system of any sort, and nor do I for these web-blogs. True Believers would've noticed the way I wrinkled my nose last Saturday at the Charity Function For Rich People With Too Much Money And Who Cares What The Cause Is Anyway? and they would've went to their special-edition Karl Lagerfeld decoder books, and matched up the nose wrinkle with their deluxe-edition Karl Lagerfeld mood ring, and then consulted the length of the grass outside, and known "ah! it is coming!"

And what is coming, dear readers? What is coming is a novel which I have written. It is in digital form, because digital is more in the moment than print anyway, and it will come out in installments. It will be like playing Waiting For Godot, the book. Or it will be like living in Victorian England and waiting for a new installment of Dickens' latest novel about social injustice and all that rubbish. Or it will be like waiting for one stone tablet at a time. Except this is essentially the greatest novel since Ulysses, and will be more influential than The Bible.

Look out for further signals. Pray often (and don't even think about praying if you're not well dressed).

17 comments:

T.Harold said...

Yeshhh!!! He's back :D

http://t-cake.tumblr.com/

HAIKALcium Lowfat said...

finally, THE novel! i knew this was going to happen real soon since you've mentioned it quite a number of times before!

best wishes~
Haikal

Leila Rousseau said...

Please include fashion poetry. It will be a miracle of your Worthiness.

emily said...

Oh, Karl. I knew. I knew you were returning- that you couldn't possibly had left us when there was so much more commentary to have, so many more threads to snip. Your expertly coiffed believers await your no doubt stunning novel.

fledgling said...

i just peed a little.

Immi said...

Nose scrunch of glee!

Tony said...

Karl, we love you.

larapollinare said...

brilliant.

amandakatarina said...

Shouldn't we all follow Beckett's lead? Good choice Uncle, good choice. In the meantime, I will be sitting on my exercise ball eating magnums.

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