Tuesday, January 25, 2011

D's Arc

Dearest Readers,

I am creating an Arc. I say Arc because it will be far more akin to a Corbusier chair than the monstrosity Noah created. It occurred to me that with the imminent and exponential expansion of populations across the world (people do insist on breeding so voraciously, don't they?), the increase of unlookers may, too, exponentially increase.

More to the fact, with this large expansion in population, clothes from Chanel, LV, Commes de Garcons, will all rise sharply in price. Good clothing is like any precious stone or metal, there is only a set amount of it and the higher the demand, the more the price. This means that more and more the unlookers (sometimes confused with the Unwashed - though I fear for the inter-breeding of the two) will become more and more Unlooked. But also there will be a greater margin of them.

Those who can afford to float like the cream of the ever expanding population - and our numbers will dwindle slightly, too, for not everyone has the stamina to maintain such wealth - will be the only ones who can afford such style.

Eventually the waves of unlookers will become a sea of unwashed hair and dowdy blouses that will rise up against their Fashion Gods with a vengeance to rival that of a Napoleonic sneeze (I'm told, they too, are voracious). Their attacks on their beloved Fashion Gods have already commenced with the susurrous around Model weight (which is ridiculous, because a good model don't have a weight) and body image (which is also ridiculous as everyone knows that ones body image exists only in photographs and thus can be altered).

I am collecting Worthy People to join my arc. K will be first on board, he will be blessing everyone after who boards with a Chanel logo in No. 5 upon their forehead. Anna Wintour will be next, who will thusly judge everyone, silently, on what they wear. She will whisper to me the rumours or sightings that anyone has seen of those who wear Track Pants or clothing made from mixed blends. These people are spies for the unlookers. Only an unlooker could be fooled into buying something so cheaply made and highly priced as Juicy Couture.

Once inside, they will be met with collections from all the designers onboard. They will be provided with internet so as to be still in touch with the world at large, if only to remind unlookers of how much less privileged they are and to erase the trails of how they became so privileged.

Then, not unlike cream on the top of fresh milk, we will float away on this sea of unlookers in search for the Promised Land. Once arrived, K will place a single flag made entirely from silk so fine you can only see it when the sunshine hits it at 9am. It will be declared New New York.

I do hope you can make it.


Artemis said...

Would you possibly take me? I'm being smothered by the dullness of unlookers.


Diana said...

Dearest Artemis,

I shall admit you in doe form. You will be fed on leaves from the topiary grown on Coco's grave. People with too much fringe and a fondness for the 1950s will take pictures of you with their fisheye lenses and you will blink down upon them.


Anonymous said...

Will you be taking one male and one female from the factories so the menial manufacturing tasks can still be taken care of once the promised land is reached? After all someone needs to spin the invisible silk for the flag and place it in K's hands as they kneel cowering before him.


"silk so fine you can only see it when the sunshine hits it at 9am."
let's go to that place.


michael said...

Karl is not coming if they bring LV...


Flossie, Monster Munch Blog said...

ooh cool am following

Leila Rousseau said...

I agree, no LV, and really there should be a committee that organises who is allowed on the wait list. I could be on that committee, for example. And I will compile the list of all designers and unlookers who dare to promote this season's 70s theme. The theme is for unenlightened, JC track pant wearing unlookers. They don't know about the mix match suit and pencil case size clutch trend, of the Worthy. A la Carine Roitfeld. Which leads to the only person on board who is Worthy of not requiring a pair.