Tea

Recently around the atelier I've noticed a sort of "trend" popping up. Or rather, I thought it was a "trend" at first. It appears that it is more insidious. Let me explain, hm?

1) I noticed about a month ago that my seamstresses were placing bags of brown-black coloured material into hot water, and then drinking it. My seamstresses would gather around in a circle and exchange gossip as they drank this brown liquid. I thought this most curious.

2) After a while, I noticed other people were doing it as well. My assistant, Veronique started drinking the brown liquid. Even the models, who exist on a substance called "Evian" were drinking it. Multiple circles of people drinking the liquid started to form. I noted this phenomena in my handy-dandy notebook as "crop circles."

3) During Paris fashion week, I noticed whole rows of security men and runway-cleaners (a job similar to street cleaner) were dipping the bags of brown-black into hot water. I wondered where on Earth these people got the idea to drink this brown concoction.

4) I asked Yves, who was yawning because he's been dead for a long time now, what this thing-- this brown water thing is. He said it is called "tea". I noted it in my notebook.

4) Yesterday I shouted, in my most thick and treacle-like accent: "WHAT IS THIS TEA?"
Veronique said "Oh Karl, it is something you drink."
"Like diet Coke?"
"Sort of."
"Sort of?"
"Well, you know how diet Coke comes ready-made.."
"Yes. It is pret-a-porter drink. I am, after all, a commoner, hm?"
"Well tea is something you make on the spot"
"Like couture!"
"Yes, like couture."
"Why is everyone drinking couture?"
She shrugged. "Because they like the taste?"

I thought this was also curious. Couture drink. Whatever next? Well. I was about to find out something far more sinister..

6) I went into the seamstresses break room, where they don't sew but "break", as the name suggests. I saw them in a circle, chanting away- here is the chant:

"No really!"
"Yes really!"
"He didn't?!"
"He did!"
"No really!"
"You'll never believe but.."
"Mon dieu!"
"I know!"

And they kept repeating this chant on and on, and it was at this moment that I realized I was in the middle of a cult.

"No really!"
"Yes really!'
"You'll never believe but.."

These people worship gods such as: Bell, Dilmah, "Earl Grey", "Lady Grey", "Twinings". I suppose this is the changing world, hm? Couture drinks. Goodness me. I will keep you updated. Maybe you, dear reader, are a part of this cult too.