Interview with Morgan

I interviewed a girl called Morgan. She likes trashy television and is studying something at some university. Actually, the interview isn't done yet but I'm going to write up something anyway because I'm standing in the Dior Homme boutique and some idiots are twittering away to each other
("ohhh, i think that is magnifique" "what does that mean?", "oh I just heard it at last night's party"
"ohh great party, wasn't it?" "yeah, it was magnifique" .) So I need to entertain myself somehow.

I wonder who reads this anyway. Morgan, obviously. I need to buy a new ipod. I loaded up the backseat of a car yesterday with new ipods, but it's just not the same as buying an ipod when in a champagne bath. I don't know where the car went anyway. Maybe the ipod is demode anyway. Or Chanel could buy the company that makes ipods or something- Apple (stupid name, hmm?) (I suggested this to one of my entourage, and they thought I was making a joke- can you believe that?).

Oh- revolution in Tanzania. I, personally managed to quell that. People can buy Chanel t-shirts once more. The leader who was such a bore I can't even remember his name, he gave in when I gave him some free clothes. And they were last seasons, too!

Anyway, Morgan, yes. She said she sews, so maybe we'll see a few pictures of what she's sewn?

Love, Karl

In Anna's Office

I was at Anna's office today. There's some idiot- and my idiot I mean iii-deeeeee-oute in the Donatella way. Imagine the word "idiot" with a Italian accent, a shrieking, loud, Italian accent. This is how much of an iii-deeee-oute is. Sean someone, he says his name is. Avery? Like, a birdhouse.
He's a hockey player, and he just lurrrves fashion. He told me so. As I was enjoying my cup of Coca-Cola (served in a teacup, as Anna always does). Then he asked all these obnoxious questions:
"Karl, does my belt go with my shoes?", "Karl, do I look fantastic?", "Karl, Karl Karl!".
As you can imagine, this got annoying. At the Vogue offices, it is customary for the interns to bow before the great and beautiful. (Unless this person is Anna, where everyone, not just interns, looks down as if they've done something embarrassing. They're scared of her.) And that's all I really know about that guy, because Anna gave him some useless job (Guest Editor of some Vogue website), and he bounced away to that. Anna informs me that the day before he turned up in high collars.
Manners, hmm?

There is a Chanel hot air balloon outside, made out of tweed. I must go, as I am flying to Tanzania to see what's happening with it's fashion "revolution".

Revolution in Tanzania

I am on the streets of Tanzania right this minute, assistants of mine are dashing forth and with scraps of paper to fax and give to various people. Behind me the streets are chaos, people running with picket signs saying "DOWN WITH FASHION", wearing their uggs and clothes that even Rachael Zoe wouldn't wear. Dust is everywhere, the place is a soundtrack for a revolution: but what is happening here is a revolution. One that is not good for fashion.

The people of Tanzania are revolting against fashion! The Gucci store is in flames, the Prada store's windows are being bashed in and salespeople wearing tight, tight pants and skirts waddle out frantically, falling over each other like bowling pins. Expensive bowling pins. The Louis Vuitton crowd meanwhile escapes in their BMWs- wait- one was just tossed over- the crowd roars it's appreciation, proceeding to burn their Chanel t-shirts (not the Chanel t-shirts!).

What has happened in Tanzania today is that the people have gotten sick of the reasonable prices that most fashion sells for and they are demanding cheap clothes that aren't fashionable. They are sick of fashion. Could this happen elsewhere? In America? In Paris?
This is all the fault of one man- the authorities here are only calling him one name- W- I just sent out a note to meet him. I am told he dresses well, in Dior Homme.

Now my team of assistants is forming a human wall around me, as the ChanelCopter comes to pick me up (there goes Boris. Ah, he was a good assistant. Lucky Chanel has a good legal dept., hmmmm?)

Reporting from the scene- Karl Lagerfeld.