Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Dear Friends,

I have to tell you that I have been in a lot of pain lately. I have lost my favourite pencil, again. Many of you may recall that I lost my favourite pencil a year or two ago, and the chaos that ensured around Paris while I searched for said pencil. I looked for my pencil, and the silence told me it was not there. I asked it to come back two times and there was silence for two times. As you know if you follow Karl Lagerfeld's Guide To Life, I try to promote an alternative lifestyle (that I used to call in French La Lagerfeld Diet), based on sensible tenets such as repetitive wearing of collars. My pencil's decision to disappear will be clearly be seen by conservative, pen-wielding types as a lead-based revenge against the sketches my pencil and I used to share. Right now- well- I can't even pretend to be a mess. I'm quite perfect. But, it is still distressing. I have hundreds of agents on the lookout for it, throughout Paris, right now. Perhaps I will go and take pictures of naked young men- that always cheers me up. Brad? No- wait- what's your name? You know, the new one. Italian, I think. 

(Note to self: name all young male models the same name, as Yves did with bulldogs. Hard to remember names. Call them all concubine or something similar).

(sans) love,

Karl Lagerfeld


Jehh said...

I had a similar experience with a lost favourite pencil just this past semester (in high school). I left a class and accidentally my pencil, and when I returned to retrieve it, it was gone. Frantically looking and announcing it didn't work. I hope you have better luck than I do, after all, these little things become so meaningful and essential to our lives...


Artemis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Artemis said...

Dear Uncle,
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved pencil. With your amazing sketches, it must be certainly wanting to return to your wonderfully artistic hand. I wish you the best with finding it, and I would love to know where you find all of your male models.


Davidikus said...

Interesting: I lost my favourite pencil once, at school. It showed up in the second hand shop a few days after I summoned it... Cunning, isn't it?

StyleNonsense said...

I Read The First Line And Thought, 'Oh, How Tragic.' Then I Read The Rest & Just Started To Smile.

Jade said...

So sorry about your loss

michael said...

Uncle Karl... how sad. Hopefully your pencil returns before kitsch hands get to it... *cough* Marc.

The Pencil said...

Look, Karl, I know you have your minions out looking for me, but I am a pencil in Paris who doesn't want to be found.

I am in the hands of someone else now. You were always too generous with lending me - now I am gone.

Please do not look for me, I will remember you fondly


BenchesandChandeliers said...

Sincerely hope you find your pencil! I have many favorite pens... perhaps you might like to consider adopting other favorites, or owning several of the same?

I fancy your blog! Thank you for the amusing posts.

Ruri and Kephsy said...

dear mr uncle karl, super villain, loser of pencils:
i am in love with your couture. i see it everywhere- spilling in flods off of young high class women, and in stores- calling to me as i pass in San Fran.

but i feel your pain. i had a pencil- a pencil i had been drwing with since my diaper years- dissapear. one day at the famous muir woods i was drawing a hat that had been trampeled on the ground, and i set my book and said pencil on the ground. i looked around at all the flora and fauna and ran to follow my sibling, never to retrieve my wood-and-graphite pal again.

there are many other pencils in the jar but it is hard to lose one that you have developed a relationship with, uncle karl.

please look at my blog that my friend and i have given birth to:
xx kepshy don't forget it