Saturday, October 10, 2009

Plaid (Yves Wouldn't Stop Talking About It)

Plaid Plaid Plaid. Love plaid!

Ahhhhh, the maid brought me a lovely blanket to keep the chill off. A lovely plaid blanket, with fringe. It belonged to my dear mother.

Man learned 12,000 years ago that sheep were worth more alive than dead, when he began to fashion garments to protect his body from hot or freezing temperatures. A deal was struck, man protected the sheep from predators, sheep provided man with food and clothing. Man, born with the most empty closet of the animal kingdom.

Prehistoric sheep grew dark hairy coats that caught on branches or simply fell off their bodies in heavy clumps every spring. This could be plucked by hand, and woolgathering, another word for daydreaming was born. It caught on quickly.

Ah, the Scots. A bunch of thugs who drank beer from their prisoners’ skulls. Scots are just Vikings who got run out of Norway. So these gangs created designs in the wool, different plaids represented who their family was. Oh, plaids and tartans instead of reading and writing!

Do not get dressed today until you have perfected your posture. Beautiful alignment, a gentle sway, that is more important that plaids or cashmere. This economy means we will leave sequined pasties to drive through espresso girls licking whip cream off of each other.

And the telephone. Remember elegance. Don’t say “Is this Yves?’ Give me the option of “May I speak to Yves?’ or , for Karl, Ich mochter mit Yves sprechen bitte.

Oooh, lets get back to plaid and wool.

Futures trading, the carpet ride to riches, or not, was invented by the Cistercian monks. These wise monks began dabbling in the wool trade in the 13th Centruy , as the wool trade from the landowning abbeys grew prosperous. Buyers would pay several times the going rate for a consistent quality of wool. Richard the Lionhearted was ransomed on his return from the Third Crusade by a years worth of Cistercian wool, not cash. Another time his mother, Eleanor of Aquitaine, bailed him out with her 90 carat diamond.

Wool is designed to last forever, so pick some good pieces. Leave the faux furs to oh never mind. Read the Truman Capote short story about second hand furs. Your maid can look it up.

More about plaids later. But plaids are like furniture and jewelry , even better when inherited rather than purchased. And of course, clothes are stored, never curated.

Oh, its time to sit in the garden and have some cocoa, and look at the radiant purple beauty berries. We put them next to bright red dahlias, purple and red. YSL in the garden, purple and red. Its diiiiiiwine. Try that Karl!

We’ll talk again soon. I do so enjoy our little visits!


Spardha Malik said...

hey Yves.. so nice of you to be a permanent feature here... Seems Karl is hopping around trying to shoot the demode ones!

But i do miss HIM!

enjoy your cocoa..

Henry said...

It's "Ich möchte bitte mit Yves sprechen." : D